hard labour

we had our 2nd antenatal class this week. It ran through how long on average labour would be, different positions, etc. Gone are the days which are still shown on tv programmes of a mum lying in a bed with doctors down the end giving her instructions. Now they prefer upright positions to help with gravity...so either standing up, crouching or sitting up. All very undignified...12 hours or more of undignified grunting and pain.

When the LORD said he was going to make child-bearing hard, he wasn't kidding!

So my man and I were discussing how he would have to coach and take care of me during the majority of that 12 hours. He's a morning person...anything after 11pm he starts to struggle.

Imagine if I don't go into labour until late evening, he has to stay awake till the next morning helping me.

When I say morning person....I mean we could be talking about the end of the world and myles wouldn't be able to keep his eyes open. He's completely incapable of functioning at that time.

I can just picture it now...i'm screaming in pain, myles is sitting on the bed massaging me and next minute I can feel the pressure of his head on my back as he drops off to sleep and starts snoring.

He said he doesn't need my mum's help, but I think he will be begging for it at 2am and I'm nowhere near pushing baby out :-)

How cool would it be to forgive instantly

As soon as someone does something to you - to forgive them instantly.  Without a moment's hesitation.

In my reading of the Bible I see so many times when the Lord forgives people instantly, totally, and without conditions.  And then He gets straight on with loving them.  Blessing them even!

The Lord shows us the way in being forgiving.  His classic example is him on the cross.  Beaten and tortured.  Mocked.  He forgives and gets straight into loving everybody.

I want to be able to instantly forgive people.  And then turn around and bless them.  Is that an awesome way to show them God's love in me or what!

In the few occasions I have done this it has probably blessed me more than the person I have forgiven.

It's my birthday...and I'll cry if I want to

Yes today is my birthday....and I could cry....if I wanted to.  There is so much in the world to despair in peoples lives.

Weaknesses.  Accusations. People not talking to each other.  Misunderstandings.  Judgements.  Loneliness.  Missed dreams.

Yet I don't cry.  I don't feel like it. 

Cause the Lord makes me happy.  I sing to him everyday. 

my church is inside my heart

Recently I have heard of a few people gossiping about church.  What it doesn't do.  What people at church don't do.

Well frankly it pisses me off.

My church is in my heart.  This thought opened my eyes to what church is for me.

It is not affected by what church people do or say.  Or what people say or do about church people.

No one is perfect.  I am not perfect.  So I don't expect others to be.

Church for me is about:
- worshipping the Lord
- serving other christians
- fellowshipping with other christians

That's why I enjoy setting up and packing up after church.  I don't care if I am the only person doing it.  If everyone else is just standing around chatting...trying to connect.

cycle of life

I'm feeling sad today...probably the hormones, and the realisation that for a person of faith i am full of doubts.

It's weird how the LORD made this cycle of life. We are born into this world as vulnerable little babies totally reliant on others to love us.

We trust and believe in them because we don't know any better.

Then we spend the rest of our lives learning better...doubting or confirming what we use to trust and believe. It would be much easier to spend the rest of our lives as naive children knowing no better.

But this is not the LORD's way. Like my beloved said he doesn't want droids.

At the end of our lives we trust and believe because we do know better.

I am not at the end of my life yet so I still doubt and I still question - there's no magic wand to get me from innocent child to experienced mature child. It will take the rest of my life experiencing 1st hand love, pain, loss, mistakes, joy, doubt, happiness, mercy, hope, and faith.

That's my LORD's way.