BEING A WIFE

I have a man who loves me so much he rushes home, barely has time to eat his lunch because he's trying to fit a job which requires 10 hrs into 8 hrs. Luckily for me, he's so good at his job and very rarely does he not cope.

Why am I writing this? Because the LORD just taught me an important 'NOT ABOUT ME' lesson. I wrote once that if I failed at everything but could pass on a legacy of God's love to our children then I could meet my Creator satisfied that I was a wife and a mother. Any other achievements would pale in comparison.....well tonight I failed at being a wife.

Of course, it's not the first time. But this wasn't one of those I forgot to do something for him or i hurt him moments. I forgot what the LORD's definition of WIFE is.

I have recently written a poem about my man and how much he means to me...yet tonight the LORD showed me what it means to walk in his shoes, to face his every day life worrying about me and how I will react to him if he should stuff up, or show any concern for himself over me.

I believe one of my gifts from the LORD is discernment. I can often cut through what people are saying and reach the heart of the matter. But when it comes to my man, I'm too busy focusing on me that i very rarely put myself in his shoes.

What I saw was a man trying his hardest to balance the many demands on his time and love. A man feeling like he can barely acknowledge even to himself that he is just hanging on to the edge of a cliff but even if he did just for a moment he would feel guilty and unjustified to even ask his wife for help.

It broke my heart and filled me with such compassion for him that I thought of many ways that I could help ease his burden within a few minutes.

The irony is I need him to share his feelings more. I need to know all this about him. But I make it so hard for him to share these things because he feels like he has to keep it together, because he can't afford to fail again.

But I love him and this has never changed. I don't want to be the cause of hurt or brokenness in him. He is my no. 1 practice ground for my purpose in life...to bind up the broken-hearted, to be his refuge in a storm. If I can't do it for the love of my life, then how can I do it for a stranger??

My work begins at home...otherwise I won't even be able to say to the LORD that I was a wife...his answer would be....' you call that a wife? Daughter, you never knew what that meant...definitely NOT what I meant BY 'WIFE'!!'

legacy of God's love....starts with God's no. 1 gift to me - my man.

Babe
if you read this public apology, then forgive me, and thank you for sharing your heart with me. I will do more to take better care of it. I love you and I know you are trying your best. Sometimes you succeed and sometimes you don't BUT I'm here to love you through both.

your wife