daily acts of love

i was reading a little book called "daily acts of love" and i happenned to come across this little verse which made me stop in my tracks and take a whole new look at some of the things i have been facing in the past couple of weeks.Esp in my relationship with Nick.
Though i knew this already, i somehow forgot it in the midst of all the crap going through my head...anyway, i hope you find it refreshing as I did

"Someone who is meanspirited, boastful,deceitful, angry,conceited, or attacking is in fact expressing a lack of love, insecurity and poor self regard, however puffed up they may outwardly appear.
This does not mean you condone their actions.But it may allow you to regard the person with more compassion"

Compassion is why i chose to stick with Nick, tho sometimes he is one of the unlovable people Myles spoke about earlier.
He does not know what its like to be loved, to be accepted, to be understood. He was never allowed to endulge in these simple priviledges others especially I, take for granted everyday!

Laughter is not heard in his house, nor is love comfort and encouragement.

And the Lord has reminded me again of how much he needs me to love him because tho he is puffed up and thinks he is invincible..he is only trying to hide how much he craves love, affections,acceptance and understanding. It is a mere reflection of his weaknesses.This is what i see in him everytime, this is what got me here in the first place.His vulnerabilities, his weaknesses, his needs, his sorrow.

we grew up and still growing in different worlds tho we are starting to see compromises and a lot of understanding helping us love each other more

Some of the differences are :
Nick needs to ask for permission to eat anything in the fridge, i eat everything in the fridge

Nick is not allowed to use the kitchen, cook, or use any of the stacked goods to eat, I own my familys kitchen

Nick needs to ask if he can use the laundry and in the good days he will be allowed otherwise his clothes will sit in the laundry for days and he will end up washing them with his hands,bringing it to my house, I use all the washing detergent doing my washing.

Nick goes home to inedible leftovers lying on the stove if hes lucky, I go home to a special plate put aside for me by my mum.

Nick was taught not to ask for anything especially food so at times he would go to bed hungry, I pick and choose whose house I can have dinner at and what I want to eat

Nick was taught his best was not good enough, i was told i can do anything i put my mind to it.

Nick was taught failure is never an alternative, I grew up surrounded by people who picked me up

Nick was taught to be the stronger one, in my world I was/am the stronger one.

Nick was taught worth and dignity came with wealth and material possessions, I was taught to not fall for such desires but pursue humility, respect and love for others.

Nick grew up in a war torn country where he had to be self sufficient, strong, and arrogant to survive, i grew up enveloped in love, warmth, guidance, protection and freedom in a little island paradise in the middle of the pacific.

Nick would disappear for days and noone would notice, i disappear for a couple of hours and a search party is sent out to find me.

Nick has not seen his siblings and mum for over 4 years, I go crazy if i dont see my family for a day

Nick experiences all this living with his grandparents, I was at the very heart of my grandparents.

Nick cannot fathom how i can love him so much, I cant fathom how he cant fathom that i love him this much!

Tho I dont condone his ways, I do however regard him with a little more compassion and I trust God has him in his care and is working in his life.
He is just another reminder of the people I will yet save for Christ, he is my battlefield, my testing groud and at times my point of clarity!