not quite sure what im meant to say or write, just feeling a bit too disconnected from everyone and everything...funny enough i dont feel like running away! The new year has brought on board new challenges already, its only been three days!!!!
not quite sure what this feeling is but i feel persecutions coming from the north,south, east and west!
i cant feel Gods peace anymore, not quite sure whether i feel him or not, its been a chaotic past weeks, filled with nothingness and everything.
heavy hearted Lord.... that same ol feeling of being the outsider has crept back in....
1 comment:
ok, this oneness thing has gone too far :)
i know that feeling. it is heavy hearted...for me it's a feeling of not belonging...kind of like what we talked about in maddie's cafe the other day...doing ordinary every day life is hard...I would rather be in the mission field, thrown in the thick of it, making real life and death choices...not just 'what should I do today?'
That christmas disconnected feeling is still here...i think it has something to do with not settling for an ordinary life...wanting more in life, restlessness at still being here...the difference is we are actually working on getting more out of life...and we can't go back...and we can't run away...just LETS GET STARTED ALREADY BEFORE I TEAR MY HAIR OUT WITH THIS NOTHINGNESS!!!!
life's little problems just seem so stupid...a waste of space...if i must waste time, i would rather waste it on watching movies about pretend worlds...
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