the continuing saga of baby names!

Last nite, my Mum had the baby names book out and the rest of us (my brother and hubby) brainstormed on names yet again.

So far we only have Riley which Myles and I both like. Then my brother came up with the idea of letting caleb pick a name. So we wrote all the possibilities down on bits of paper....misty, storm, riley, ocean, tre, calypso, etc. And then tried to get caleb to pick one. Except he kept taking them all. So got him to hand me one from his pile. And guess what it was? RILEY.

Myles and I cracked up laughing. My mum didn't find it too funny - she doesn't like that name. So looks more and more like her name will be Riley Diana. But myles has taken a liking to Misty now...

pregnancy loneliness

when i feel helpless I feel lonely
why is that??
I literally can't help myself...i have to ask for help for big things and little things.
I can't complete things on my own...I need help to accomplish even small things.

This last month I have felt frustrated at my inability to cope.
I can't even stretch away my aches and pains.
Someone else has to massage me.
I can't enjoy my son falling asleep on my arm...it hurts too much.

Why does this make me feel so lonely??? because I'm alone.
No one else can carry my child.
I could barely walk 2 days ago...but I went out anyway.
I looked ridiculous.

I am worried for my baby.
I want to try a natural birth.
Having had a caesarian, if things go wrong I might lose my child.
It's a small chance, but still it's a risk.
I'm scared and have been praying I make the right decision.

I feel alone because I'm so dependent on others.
I hate being so needy.
But that's just how it's meant to be.
I only have to survive a little while longer.

Then I will hold my baby.
See the life that has been growing in me.
The aches and pains will not compare.
And every day I spend with her will be a blessing.

dreaming

1 week to go!!! Have that feel like writing feeling again.

Dreams:
to buy a holiday house somewhere within walking distance of a beautiful beach so i can take all my nieces and nephews and children there during the weekends. Give them experiences they wouldn't otherwise have.

to have my own business working from home. So I get to spend maximum time with my kids and do something i love.

to buy a plot of land where we can build a community centre which churches can book out for services (ideally free of charge), outdoor bbq park area, basketball courts, volleyball court, pool, cafe and bookstore. Where everyone is welcome and churches from different denominations work together for the good of the local community and on projects bigger than themselves...united as one.

to fund practical progammes which meet the basic needs of poverty strickened countries in Africa...like Watoto. one country at a time.

ok that's enough dreaming :)

i feel like writing today...

What's been happening...

• the LORD has been renewing my mind about that situation I mentioned before.
• I've been so busy nesting it's not funny. Have notebook with long to do lists which i complete and fill another page with.
• Last night I rearranged my cupboards now that I have more storage. I'm still in the process of putting up curtains. I would have done them already but requires hubby's help and he's a wee bit busy at the moment too.
• Finished a painting that I've had for a couple of years. Trying to blow up a picture of caleb...took a while to narrow it down to 5!
• Weather has been very wet of late...sunny for an hour then rain and cloud. Not good for the loads of washing I have.
• Have almost packed my hospital...leaving it a bit late!
• Knitted a couple of scarfs.
• Knitted my daughter a cardigan but didn't like the buttons so will change those today.
• Have these plain white nighties which were given to caleb...but he never wore them. I have some ribbon and iron ons to jazz them up a bit...don't like plain white anything - too many beautiful colours in the world.
• Still putting up pictures and paintings on our walls. Getting there!

Well that's enough of my everyday life.

How's my eternal life going???
Next post.

a few caleb highlights

Just finished a drumming session with my son. Our neighbours must be going deaf :) Made me think of sharing a few of my caleb moments:

• my son loves drumming...his plastic drum is too beat up from his constant banging on it that I have to buy him a new more hardy one!
• He beats everything with drumsticks, and turns whatever he picks up into drumsticks...he had a small toy guitar and he decided to bang it against our wooden floors.
• He dances a lot! And sings most mornings whatever pops into his head.
• He has inherited his Dad's love of music...i'm just hoping it's not country music :)
• he's crazy about cheese...always asking for it. Had to buy one which is reduced fat!
• he has this new habit of falling asleep but wanting to hold my hands.
• when I tell him off for something he goes crying to his Dad and vice versa.
• greets my Mum and brother with 'morning'.
• when we pray for him, he says 'amen' over and over and over.

caleb is such a blessing in our lives that I can't imagine life without him. To be so blessed after years of wanting a child just makes me appreciate God's perfect timing even more!