according to my baby books and antenatal classes, women become forgetful and lose a few brain cells when they become preggy...unfortunately these don't return once baby is born.
my baby brain experience = my mouth runs the 100m sprint while my brain runs 10k marathon over mountainous terrain at very high alttitude.
this is very unusual for me because as a rule I always think before I speak, I even say little prayers when people are speaking to me along the lines of 'LORD, please speak through me. Help me to see their heart, to walk in their shoes'. Most of the time this works :-)
But now I say things before my brain has even had the chance to wake up and yawn....so I find myself stuck in mid sentence because I've forgotten what I was trying to say. In the first few months I would try to use my powers of recall and work it out. But now I just give up. My favourite phrase these days: 'I forgot what I was trying to say...oh well' and I move on. Why fight it?
I forget people's names...this wouldn't be so bad if they were people I barely knew. I end up saying 'you know what's her name' and people look at me like 'you don't remember your niece's name?'. Yes, I forget names of people I love dearly.
Perhaps it's a master ploy on the LORD's part - to prepare us for the hours of painful labour....the moment we hold baby in our arms we forget just how much it hurt us to push that little alien out.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
symbols
it's looking like baby's name is going to be Caleb - today is D day. Only hitch came on Sunday when myles went to church and found that one of the church couples had a grandson called Caleb - he was born this month. They live in NSW country but still it rained on our parade a bit.
I am 5 weeks and 1 day closer to baby being born. I am still hoping and praying he is born 5 Dec if that fits in with God's will for baby. It would make him a day ahead of schedule so shouldn't be too complicated for the LORD to arrange :-)
I was packing my hospital bag last night and thought of my Dad. Taking his dressing gown with me - what do Aussie's call that? a robe??. Will wear it when baby is born, and I've tidied myself up after a long painful labour (preparing myself for the worse), when my family flood in to see how much of a monkey baby looks like.
That dressing gown is symbolic of my Dad's last months. I remember walking the corridors of Wellington hospital with him that 1st month he was diagnosed with cancer. I stayed in the hospital with him and that was all he wore - his pjs and that dressing gown. He wouldn't leave his bed without putting it on - he had to look respectable.
Whenever it was washed, it had to be returned to him that same day. Now I have it. Taking it to hospital will be like having a physical symbol of my Dad with me. I would rather have him next to me, but the LORD's will was to have Dad with him instead.
I doubt very much the LORD lets our loved ones see our lives once they are with him. They're too busy enjoying eternity. But if he gave me a choice as to which moments left in my life I would want to share with my Dad, then seeing me holding baby with my family around us would be one of those moments.
I would say 'here's your grandson Dad' and I can just imagine his beaming smile and tears...yip, my Dad would have tears of joy.
I am 5 weeks and 1 day closer to baby being born. I am still hoping and praying he is born 5 Dec if that fits in with God's will for baby. It would make him a day ahead of schedule so shouldn't be too complicated for the LORD to arrange :-)
I was packing my hospital bag last night and thought of my Dad. Taking his dressing gown with me - what do Aussie's call that? a robe??. Will wear it when baby is born, and I've tidied myself up after a long painful labour (preparing myself for the worse), when my family flood in to see how much of a monkey baby looks like.
That dressing gown is symbolic of my Dad's last months. I remember walking the corridors of Wellington hospital with him that 1st month he was diagnosed with cancer. I stayed in the hospital with him and that was all he wore - his pjs and that dressing gown. He wouldn't leave his bed without putting it on - he had to look respectable.
Whenever it was washed, it had to be returned to him that same day. Now I have it. Taking it to hospital will be like having a physical symbol of my Dad with me. I would rather have him next to me, but the LORD's will was to have Dad with him instead.
I doubt very much the LORD lets our loved ones see our lives once they are with him. They're too busy enjoying eternity. But if he gave me a choice as to which moments left in my life I would want to share with my Dad, then seeing me holding baby with my family around us would be one of those moments.
I would say 'here's your grandson Dad' and I can just imagine his beaming smile and tears...yip, my Dad would have tears of joy.
Monday, October 30, 2006
Friday, October 27, 2006
ACCEPT ACCEPT ACCEPT
sometime ago in the life of this blog the LORD gave me three words ACCEPT, BALANCE and SIMPLIFY. These were three areas I needed to work on and I think I have made tons of progress in two of these, but not anywhere near enough when it comes to ACCEPT.
In fact when I have tried to recall these 3 words I nearly always forget ACCEPT. I remember the other two fine. Why is that?
Because in the last 4 years of my life he has asked me to ACCEPT lots of huge life changing events. The last 2 years have been hardest.
To ACCEPT things are out of my hands, out of my control...sad, hurtful, betrayal, heart-breaking and soul destroying events. Why does he want me to just ACCEPT these things? Because he wants me to TRUST HIM COMPLETELY. TO TRUST THAT HE KNOWS BEST. TO TRUST THAT BREAKING MY HEART NOW WILL BENEFIT ME AND MY LOVED ONES FOR ETERNITY.
That seriously sux. I have this constant battlefield between my MIND and my SPIRIT. My spirit gets the LORD's plans, and knows that if I just ACCEPT then I can move forward into the kind of future that only the LORD can dream up.
But my MIND can't get past the heart-break. It refuses to let go of the last 4 years of my life. It keeps saying if you ACCEPT then you are running the risk of having your heart broken for good next time. You need to protect yourself.
I know Satan is having a field day with my thoughts. But it seems so logical. To not listen would be to act like a door mat, a stupid woman who never learns but goes back for more.
Yet the LORD has blessed me during this time. He made Romans 8:28 a reality for me over and over again - And we know that in ALL THINGS God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
ALL THINGS meaning good and bad.
Out of heartbreak and sadness he saved my husband and I am about to have a child. These are not small prayers he has answered. But 14 years and 5 years worth of praying. Miracles.
Yet I still battle with this area. I wonder how long it's going to take me to press through???
In fact when I have tried to recall these 3 words I nearly always forget ACCEPT. I remember the other two fine. Why is that?
Because in the last 4 years of my life he has asked me to ACCEPT lots of huge life changing events. The last 2 years have been hardest.
To ACCEPT things are out of my hands, out of my control...sad, hurtful, betrayal, heart-breaking and soul destroying events. Why does he want me to just ACCEPT these things? Because he wants me to TRUST HIM COMPLETELY. TO TRUST THAT HE KNOWS BEST. TO TRUST THAT BREAKING MY HEART NOW WILL BENEFIT ME AND MY LOVED ONES FOR ETERNITY.
That seriously sux. I have this constant battlefield between my MIND and my SPIRIT. My spirit gets the LORD's plans, and knows that if I just ACCEPT then I can move forward into the kind of future that only the LORD can dream up.
But my MIND can't get past the heart-break. It refuses to let go of the last 4 years of my life. It keeps saying if you ACCEPT then you are running the risk of having your heart broken for good next time. You need to protect yourself.
I know Satan is having a field day with my thoughts. But it seems so logical. To not listen would be to act like a door mat, a stupid woman who never learns but goes back for more.
Yet the LORD has blessed me during this time. He made Romans 8:28 a reality for me over and over again - And we know that in ALL THINGS God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
ALL THINGS meaning good and bad.
Out of heartbreak and sadness he saved my husband and I am about to have a child. These are not small prayers he has answered. But 14 years and 5 years worth of praying. Miracles.
Yet I still battle with this area. I wonder how long it's going to take me to press through???
- I have to ACCEPT that when things are OUT OF CONTROL he is in CONTROL.
- I have to ACCEPT that when there is MISTRUST he is always TRUSTWORTHY.
- I have to ACCEPT that when there is UNFAITHFULNESS he is always FAITHFUL.
- I have to ACCEPT that when I am being sacrificed he is making me more like his son, my Saviour, and not a door mat.
These are not easy things for me to accept because I am a strong independent woman. The last 4 years has stolen so much from me personally. Yet the LORD's message remains the same ACCEPT.
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
baby names countdown
Myles and I still haven't decided on a baby name. We're having a boy so you would think that only gives us half the names in the world to choose from. But we have six weeks to go and we are still unsure.
So I have given us till the end of Oct to come up with a name.
We obviously need help....especially when my man and other family members come up with suggestions like Elvis, Jet Li, Van Helsink, Judas etc.
Names are important, especially to the LORD, but even if we give our little one a name without meaning, we still have to think about possible nicknames which might scar him for life.
So if you're visiting our website, and you read this post, then please feel free to contribute to our baby's name.
So I have given us till the end of Oct to come up with a name.
We obviously need help....especially when my man and other family members come up with suggestions like Elvis, Jet Li, Van Helsink, Judas etc.
Names are important, especially to the LORD, but even if we give our little one a name without meaning, we still have to think about possible nicknames which might scar him for life.
So if you're visiting our website, and you read this post, then please feel free to contribute to our baby's name.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)