shopping dramas

I am all shopped out!!! I went shopping on Sat, still looking for 3 items of furniture for my new home, plus curtains, etc. I was shopping 3 hrs and went to this huge mall. We're not familiar with it, so walked around and around searching for a couple of shops. Even my man who is usually good with directions found the signage very difficult to follow.

As I was walking around I could feel my body wasn't coping, legs were aching and I was overheating. I could see Myles getting further ahead of me and didn't have the energy to even speak. So I kept walking and walking. When I caught up to myles - I had to sit down, but I was so exhausted and overwhelmed with how I was feeling physically, I couldn't tell him how I was feeling. So he knew something was wrong, made the decision and sat us down.

In my head I kept thinking, I can't cope, this is too much, I should be doing less, simplifying my life, not doing shopping marathons. I just wanted to breakdown and ball my eyes out, but this mall was super packed with people and the seat we were on had several other people sitting there.

So I decided Sunday would be my last day shopping, even if we found nothing. It would just have to wait till after baby. I asked the LORD to help us find what we needed on Sunday after church because I was soooo done with shopping.And on Sunday we found everything we needed. One of the things was out of stock but at least I knew what I wanted now, and myles could go pick it up when they restocked. I didn't have to go again.

Why am I sharing this?? Because I have never felt so overwhelmed and unable to help myself like that. I couldn't even talk. With caleb I made a point of relaxing and staying home because it was my 1st child. But Gobbie has had it hard.

It made me realise that I was stressing myself out with the long list of things to do. Instead of focusing on the one thing I need to do most. Look after myself for Gobbie's sake and mine. I can't afford to have my blood pressure rise this month. I have 4 weeks left and I need to spend these wisely.

So no more marathon shopping days. One task a day and nothing overwhelming. What are those three magic words the LORD gave me??? simplify, balance and accept. Need to write these on my heart.

gobbie

My cousin had a beautiful baby girl. There are 3 of us due in the next few weeks, I'm the last. Plus Faith's sister is due any day! Next is my other cousin due in a couple of weeks, then me in 5 weeks.

Gobbie is still nameless....possibilities....peita diana, rylie diana, eva diana, eden diana (that doesn't sound that nice together ), kiri diana, mika diana (but sounds too similar to my cousin's baby, so won't pick that one now)...

What's in a name anyway?? I want it to have meaning but words like grace, wisdom, merciful, compassionate, kind, giving, faithful, discerning...don't come with great names...and my family is so big chances are there is already one or two already...

And the search continues...

to blog or not to blog?

I was reading faith's blog and it reminded me of the blogging dilemma that I have. Blogging is not like your personal diary where you can write all that's on your mind, all the trials and battles you go through, or even all that the LORD is working on in your life.

It's the whole privacy thing. If you want to be able to write all this then you're better of remaining anonymous and not putting your name or family pictures, etc. because sometimes it's your family you're battling with. You have to think of their privacy.

So when you're going through something and it occupies all your head space then it's hard to blog about what's happening in your life. It's a bit like that saying...my man has used it occasionally...something about an elephant on the table and no one wants to discuss it. That's what it feels like for me. And you can't even write about the specific lessons the LORD is teaching you at the time.

So sometimes when I'm not blogging it means life has slapped me in the face and I'm working on it or recovering from it. But of course other times it's just because i'm too busy living life and too tired to write :)

home life

view from my pc...

• large windows that cover the back wall of our lounge,
• looking out on to our porch in the backyard,
• pine trees on the right side which extend way too high but give us lots of privacy,
• grassy yard enclosed by more trees.
• Next to me, on my right is a large bookcase with a collection of books, mags, little suitcases and boxes, pictures of loved ones,
• on my left I can see the kitchen,
• behind me is the rest of the lounge where hubby and brother sit watching some tv programme.

this is my new home. And I'm very blessed to have found a place which has a great balance of space and cosiness.

All that's left to do is add those finishing touches which personalise homes...photos, and pictures on walls, curtains, and rearranging chairs/couches now we have a better feel of the space. Plus I have a few extra bits of furniture to purchase from IKEA now I know what extra storage we might need.

And countdown is on for Gobbie...bought clothes for her, my only complaint is everything in the shops for girls is pink! I like pink but there are other colours just as wonderful...red, green, yellow, orange, blue....but no everything blue had a truck or some male oriented picture. So no more pink for me!

Doctors appointments are going well. I thank the LORD for taking care of Gobbie and me. Looking forward to a quiet and relaxing next 6 weeks building up to the big event!

transition

we are still unpacking our house! All funeral things are over as of yesterday so can put all my efforts into sorting and purging.

I have just over 8 weeks before baby is due unless she comes early :) She is still nameless and I can't keep calling her Gobbie.

It's weird to think there is going to be another little one in the house. I wonder how caleb will react. He slept for the first time in his own bed, separated from us, for the whole nite. So hopefully, by the time Gobbie comes home, he will have adjusted to his big boy bed.

Haven't spent much time with the LORD apart from talking to him through out my day. Looking forward to see quality time with him. My life feels like it's in a transitional phase...definitely because of the move, but also with a new baby, my mum over, no time to just sit back and enjoy life, lots of unfinished tasks to follow up on. But it's temporary.

Hope by the end of this week I will feel more settled.