home life

view from my pc...

• large windows that cover the back wall of our lounge,
• looking out on to our porch in the backyard,
• pine trees on the right side which extend way too high but give us lots of privacy,
• grassy yard enclosed by more trees.
• Next to me, on my right is a large bookcase with a collection of books, mags, little suitcases and boxes, pictures of loved ones,
• on my left I can see the kitchen,
• behind me is the rest of the lounge where hubby and brother sit watching some tv programme.

this is my new home. And I'm very blessed to have found a place which has a great balance of space and cosiness.

All that's left to do is add those finishing touches which personalise homes...photos, and pictures on walls, curtains, and rearranging chairs/couches now we have a better feel of the space. Plus I have a few extra bits of furniture to purchase from IKEA now I know what extra storage we might need.

And countdown is on for Gobbie...bought clothes for her, my only complaint is everything in the shops for girls is pink! I like pink but there are other colours just as wonderful...red, green, yellow, orange, blue....but no everything blue had a truck or some male oriented picture. So no more pink for me!

Doctors appointments are going well. I thank the LORD for taking care of Gobbie and me. Looking forward to a quiet and relaxing next 6 weeks building up to the big event!

transition

we are still unpacking our house! All funeral things are over as of yesterday so can put all my efforts into sorting and purging.

I have just over 8 weeks before baby is due unless she comes early :) She is still nameless and I can't keep calling her Gobbie.

It's weird to think there is going to be another little one in the house. I wonder how caleb will react. He slept for the first time in his own bed, separated from us, for the whole nite. So hopefully, by the time Gobbie comes home, he will have adjusted to his big boy bed.

Haven't spent much time with the LORD apart from talking to him through out my day. Looking forward to see quality time with him. My life feels like it's in a transitional phase...definitely because of the move, but also with a new baby, my mum over, no time to just sit back and enjoy life, lots of unfinished tasks to follow up on. But it's temporary.

Hope by the end of this week I will feel more settled.

another death

My uncle died on Tues. He has been sick for a couple of years - 75 years old, so it's a mixed blessing because now he's no longer in pain and he went to be with the LORD. I wasn't feeling sad about it until I saw him and my aunty. Having just been to Myles' mum's funeral it's all just too much sadness. Lost so many loved ones, 3 of them in April...bad month for my family. I think I'm over mourning.

It has been a busy time for us. I have been feeling sick and we're moving house. So been busy packing up old house, cleaning and unpacking at new house. My family is busy with funeral preparations so haven't had the usual cousins to help. But Monday we've hired a truck and 4 of my male cousins are coming over to help load and unload.

Funerals in my culture are no small feat. My uncle was a popular man in his community and church so it will be a big funeral with lots of people turning up at their house to pay their respect. There's always a lot of cooking and lots of people.

I would normally be over there a lot but with moving and being preggy and sick it's just not possible. Have had to prioritise so packing and cleaning is all i'm doing until the big move on Monday. We're not moving far from our current place so it makes it easy to troup back and forth.

My niece has been helping me pack and unpack. She's 9 and needs to know the exact schedule of her day...what we're doing every hour. So keeping her entertained has been funny while still letting her help me. She likes cleaning the outside of cupboards but not the inside. She loves using the cleaning spray and is always trying to create jobs that require spraying. She enjoys vacuuming but only what she can see is dirty :)

I can't wait to settle in to our new home and focus on baby. With the funeral, my Mum is now coming over earlier which is another mixed blessing....letting her help me while not letting her stress me over her perfectionist, only 'one way' to do everything attitude. caleb is going to love having her around. Will have to make sure she doesn't spoil him to the point of disobedient!

sleep is calling me.

God and me

what does it mean to be your daughter LORD?
is it perfection? Creation made perfect?
or is it acceptance? Of who we are and who others are.
that even angels are not perfect.
but they are loved, just as we are.

why did you make us so flawed LORD?
to right a wrong and give Satan a chance to repent?
Or to prove that love is the only way.
Satan chooses hate as his weapon because he knows you are love.

he tries to undermine you by attacking your greatest weapon - love.

He takes love from those who have it
Shines it in the light so we can see just how imperfect it is.
He steals it from us little by little so we don't even notice
And then we wonder why we are all strangers.

You say love never fails
love covers a multitude of sins
love activates faith
without it all the glory, all the miracles in the world are meaningless.

So what do you expect of me, your daughter?
Not just to live my life to the full, not just to achieve all that I can.
But to do all this with love.
To do less things than this with love.

Always when given a choice.
My choice must always be to love.
I am your daughter.
You made me this way.

What if I can't?
You will still love me.

change in the air

i'm turning 40 this year. So it seems like a good time to assess who i am and what needs to change. I have lots of qualities which are less than admirable and I have to make an effort to change. So what do I need to change...well this is just what I can think of now:

my hubby gave me my 1st one:

I need to be less bossy or loosen up more!
I live with 3 men - hubby, son and brother. I feel like I play mother to all 3 not just little Caleb. I know that I'm alot more flexible then i use to be about keeping the house tidy. And I let mess slide otherwise I will go crazy telling the boys to tidy up after themselves. eg: my man has a habit of eating and leaving his plate on the bench...sometimes he will remember to pack it but other times he will leave it there over night. Or he will open a muesli bar and instead of putting the wrapper in the rubbish he will leave it on the bench. So I have to stop telling him what to do all the time and let him be messy and do things his way instead of telling him my way all the time.

I need to be more assertive and brave
I'm not brave about doing new things and I'm terrible with ringing up things or people. I need to get my licence and take control of my life. I procrastinate too much.

I need to build relationships with those closest to me and make time for my loved ones
I spend the majority of time with my man and caleb. But it might be a case of too much time so we don't value each other as much.

I need to get back to reading more!
I use to be an avid reader but these days I go through moments when I will read 3 books in a month and then read nothing for months on end!

I need to pay more attention to what's happening in the real world
I don't pay attention to any current affairs. It's terrible but it just seems to be the same old same old. It's not a good trait for a christian. I need to know what's happening in the world. So watching the news and reading my man's news website which has a broad range of current affairs.

I need to take better care of myself
I don't do enough pampering of myself and girlie things. I need to include this into my time. Plus my health and fitness.

Well that's it for now. Some of these things are small and easily rectified but the biggest thing for me is I need to loosen up. I'm such an overanalyser that I pass judgement on everything instead of just enjoying it. As I have gotten older it has become worse. I need to be more like my husband in some respect. No wonder the LORD placed him in my life. It's that horrid word again that I struggle with ACCEPT.

I use to be a lot more carefree and loved doing spur of the moment things. But now time is taken up by the routine of life and doing extra things seem to be too draining. With two kids I hope I find more energy and get back to being more inventive with my time.

That's a start.