what's going on???

My best friend's dad died tonight  One of my close family members is having his 3rd major operation tomorrow in less than a week because he has blood clots in his kidneys and bowels from some rare disease i can't pronounce.  My brother-in-law is in a psychiatric ward facing the possibility of electric shock treatment.  Sounds like a bad movie plot.  All this on top of a year of coping with losing my own brother.

Life in my part of the world has permanently changed.  I have gone from living a fairly safe life to having to face the loss of a close family member nearly every year around the same time for the last 6 years.  Is this happening in other people's lives?  It feels like something has changed in the spiritual world.  It feels like the LORD is asking more of us these days...for those who believe to step up and obey....we need to change, change, change...and get about our Father's business.  The times they are a changing.

colour

i went to the colour conference for the 1st time in years.  It was as inspiring as i remember.  But more importantly it was moving forward.  Conferences are almost for newbies cos they are about motivating us.  So colour has lots of girlie stuff, gifts, pampering, etc.  But it has more of a plan now on how we can as God's girls impact our world.  Very real causes that we can as one army of prayering warrior women put our hands to.  See the progress, expect more, pray for more, and change lives of those less privileged then us.  It's like we are really getting it...that God's heart is our heart.

I love Bobbie Houston.  She is compelled to act on whatever the LORD lays on her heart.  She has all these resources but they all mean nothing if it wasn't for God's spirit working in her.  He blesses the fruit of her hand and motivates women at these conferences to act with her.  To help stop trafficking of women and children, to fight for God's children stuck in poverty and affiction, to make Jer 29:11 true for more than just herself but for neighbours.  And she unites us all to do the same.

For me, unity is the key.  Imagine if we didn't just meet together but ACTED together.  As God's army taking back what belongs to him.   John 17 was life transforming for me. It's when Jesus prayed for us.  Here he was about to die but he prayed for us - it was more important to him to say these words to be recorded and passed down from one generation to another! He needed us know we must unite as ONE.

My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me.  (John 17:20,21)

times they are a changin

i am thinking of giving my blog a new name.  so much has changed since we 1st started this blog and now it's like my own baby.  Change seems to be where i am at.  So might change everything.  last post as not about us.  time to update.

out of the dark...

i think it's time to start blogging again.  Only because I have so much i want to write and looking back on this blog has shown me where the LORD has shown up in my life in the last few years.  My memory is so bad these days that this is a good thing :)

My brother dying has rocked my world and my faith.  It has shown me that I have a lot of changing to do.  His death was a slap in the face for me, a wake up call.  There is no time like the present to change because life is short.  I took it for granted that Rob would be around forever and now he's gone.

As a christian I am a foreigner in this world.  I'm a traveller, an explorer, at heart, so this fits in with my personal view of the world.  Some girls dream of a career, of finding the love of their lives, of being married, etc.  But for me a job was my means to being able to travel.  I just wanted to see as much of this world as possible before my time was up.  I am just blessed to have found the love of my life as well.

Life is a holiday.  To be enjoyed, to be challenged, to take risks, to laugh, to love, etc.  Eternity is our reality, when we get to go home. I need to make the most of this life.  And I know I'm not.  I'm cruising but not like the kind with ocean views.  More like stuck in the depth of the ship with no windows.  Every day matters to the LORD. And it should matter to me.  I have more than enough but i'm not making the most of this life the LORD has blessed me with.  I have got to stop accepting what this world dishes me like it's all i have to choose from.  It's so not true.  Why do i have so much???  Not to swindle it away and hand this over to my children.

LIFE IS PRECIOUS.  DID JESUS WASTE HIS 30 SOMETHING YEARS BEING A CARPENTER'S SON OR DID HE PREPARE FOR HIS MINISTRY, FOR HIS DEATH?

I thought i was eternity focused before...losing my brother has made me more so. 

accept, balance, simplify...3 words from the LORD for me.  I get the feeling I'm going to take these words to my grave, to eternity because my life doesn't end at the grave.  Thanks to Jesus.

rob

my brother died 38 years old, heart attack in his sleep, 16 may 2009.

This is my last entry. I have learnt so much about myself from this. But mostly I miss him. He was a big part of my life. We both moved to sydney way back when and we have lived together most of this time. I think I have only ever spent 5 years apart. As my husband said, he was his flatmate.

He had the biggest heart and time for those no one else did. He just found the love of his life about 6 mths ago. He was starting the next stage of his life. Getting more healthier.

I am heart broken. And my world is very grey. Even tho i know he is with the LORD. He died too young. What I would give for another minute with him.

I would tell him how much i loved him, even tho he knew.
I would tell him how proud i was to be his sister.
I would tell him I wish the LORD had shouted at me that he was short on time so he could have had a less stressful last month. So we could have found a way out.
I would tell him how much I'm going to miss him, my children will miss him, how having him in our home made me feel more safe.
I would tell him that my life will always feel incomplete without him.
That i was looking forward to him getting married and having a family.
That i was glad he had found his soulmate no matter how brief the time.
That I was sorry for anything I have ever done to hurt him.
And then i could have wished him a safe journey home to his Maker.

Where he would struggle no more, feel no pain, see our Dad and my child, Ange's children, and fulfil his eternal purpose. Rest in peace is not something i would wish for him, not the resting part anyway, peace most definitely. He wanted to be one of the LORD's soldiers so I hope he's busy organising some offensive against the enemy. Or gathering people together to tell one of his stories.

Enjoy being a part of the bigger picture, have the best time doing whatever the LORD has assigned you, and look after our house until we meet again