confusion

i'm not sure what's happening lately. I feel like there is a lot of confusion and people searching for the LORD but there's not enough actual listening.

I don't know i can't put my finger on it. but i'm having God conversations with people but something is missing. i can't quite see through the confusion.

there is a lot of mourning right now and the LORD uses times like this to draw us closer to him, through his comfort he brings about changes for our good. but i don't believe it's a time to make life changing decisions. It's a time to recover, to get rid of all the baggage, to just stand still, talk to the LORD and then listen.....it's the listening bit that's missing because as you mourn it becomes all about you....your pain, your hurt, your anger, your sadness.....and you turn to the LORD but at the same time...you need to be still and know that he is God.

Isaiah 46:9,10 was my reading today:
Remember the former things, those of long ago;
I am God, and there is no other;
I am God, and there is none like me.

I make known the end from the beginning,
from ancient times, what is still to come.
I say: My purpose will stand,
and I will do all that I please.

The LORD is trying to fulfil his purpose from the death of my cousin. But if we make it all about us then confusion reigns and we might do good but we miss the good the LORD had planned for us specifically to do.

In writing all this I am now clearer on why all this talking doesn't feel right. Thanks, Lord! show us LORD what your plan is, help us to sift through all the rubbish and find the gold that you are creating in our midst - to make the choices we need to make to walk in your way, your plans, and take our eyes off those things that don't matter. not talking about the obvious stuff but sifting through all the good that we can do to find the good that you want us to do....reminded of that impt message you gave us in the purpose driven life book - satan is happy for us to do be busy doing good as long as he keeps us from fulfilling our main purpose in life - what you created specifically for us to do for you.

love you LORD, you are my God and there is no other. you have redeemed my life and i praise your name for you plans are amazing. i can't begin to comprehend what you are trying to achieve in each of our lives but i know if we walk in your way we will draw closer to you. thank you LORD. in your awesome name I pray Lord Jesus.


From the east I summon a bird of prey;
from a far-off land, a man to fulfill my purpose.
What I have said, that will I bring about;
what I have planned, that will I do.
(Isaiah 46:11)

thanks

LORD, thanks for making me a mum. Best gift ever!

my 1st year as a mum

I have just watched south africa kick our butt in rugby super 14! Oh well, about time there was an all south african final - but it doesn't bode well for us in the World Cup :-(

so its 3:30am in sydney which makes it mother's day. I count when I first became a mum as the day I found out I was preggy - so that was back in April last year. This makes it just over a year since I've been a mum. This will be my first mother's day with Caleb in my arms rather than my tummy.

I'm excited about celebrating it more so than my birthday. I'm actually a mum! Not just a girl responsible for myself, but a mum responsible for a little boy. I feel like screaming it out...I'M A MUM! I can celebrate being a mum!!!

My highlights of my 1st year...off the top of my head at 3:30amish:

• my first ultrasound - seeing caleb growing, his heart beating.
• having him kick me
• holding caleb for the first time - after a very long labour and a caesarian operation where I couldn't keep my arms from shaking uncontrollably - partly due to the anaesthetic and also because I had the chills. I was so relieved to see he was fine that nothing else mattered.
• sleeping with him in the hospital because he woke up crying. He was so tiny in my arms and I felt such a bond with him.
• watching him - his facial expressions, hand movements, his tiny hands and feet growing, how cute he sleeps, the sounds he makes
• seeing him change - how much more personality he has now, his smiles and squeals, his teeth, being able to grab his foot and pull it to his mouth, how he kicks like crazy when he's all excited...
• kissing and hugging him, snuggling him

ok that's enough. i have loved my first year as a mum and it's only the beginning...

tithing promise fulfilled

TITHING PROMISE:

Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the LORD Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it. (Malachi 3:10)

I finally realise what the fulfilment of this promise looks like in my life. It's my son.

I prayed about tithing last month and I said to the LORD what does that mean 'the floodgates of heaven'? So I was starting to wonder what this looked like. Whenever I have committed to a church I tithe because I love that promise. Very rarely does the LORD say TEST ME. My favourite verse Romans 12:2 is another.

I was looking at my son this week and the LORD put this verse in my head...'the floodgates of heaven'. I suddenly realised having Caleb was the floodgates of heaven opening for me.

I struggled for 5 years to have a child and I lost a child. But here is my son. This little being is the LORD's gift to me and my husband. He's ours to take care of, to love, to protect. God created this vulnerable child just for us. He trusts us with him. I have in my hands a piece of heaven.

I SURRENDER!

I read something which basically said...whatever happens in your present - the LORD can fix it in your future.

The reality is we often try to fix our own stuff ups and in affect take back control of our future. We don't realise we are changing our future negatively because we actually think we are trying to fix our future, so we can get back on track.

It's our BIGGEST mistake because we are taking back control from the LORD. He has our future already written. The plans he has for us are to give us hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). That future is in the LORD's hands and will stay that way if we trust him in the present.

My best advice to myself and anyone out there is SURRENDER IT TO THE LORD.

But I like to fix things...I stuff up I try to fix it....I see something else stuffed up and I try to fix it. Instead I just make things worse because it was never mine to fix. It was mine to surrender to the LORD. Mine to say 'LORD I stuffed this up, please help me, show me what to do, sorry!' or 'LORD, this is stuffed up, if you want me to do anything about it then show me, otherwise I will leave it in your hands'

I have learnt that as soon as I cast my cares on the LORD I don't have to worry about how to fix it. I leave it with him and soon enough he gives me a solution to what seemed impossible to fix...or he just takes it away completely. And suddenly i have other opportunities opened to me because the LORD has provided a way out for me. He has taken what was for my downfall and turned it into good.

I am no surprise to him - he knew i would stuff up and in my future he planned for it. It's beyond my comprehension. But it works every time. He turns my mistakes into blessings, my failures into life lessons that mould me into a better and stronger person.