Why do I go to Church?

Not to fellowship with others (but so others can fellowship with me). Not to hear good music (but to sing God's praises). Not to hear Frank speak (but to open my heart so the Lord can give me a message). Not to get something for me (but to serve other christians).

If I could I would rename it to be called the 'not about me' church service (and Riverside Church would be called the 'not about us' church).

Disclaimer: this blog entry is not to judge people who may not be going to church of late...but it has triggered me to thinking why do I go to church.

I am a wicked sinner...but...

...when no one loves me I know Jesus will stand in the gap.

A revelation I have received recently (I know, I know it's taken a while) is that God is my strength. He does not build me up so I can do it for myself....'cause I will always fail to my weaknesses. He builds me up to love, serve and rely on him more.

I am reading a daily devotional at the moment (from some guy called Spurgeon) and the following is from him:
Are you distressed because of sin, and burdened with the heavy load of your iniquities? Listen to these words-"I, even I, am he that blotteth out thy transgressions, and will no more remember thy sins."

If you have lost the sweet sense of the Saviour's presence, and are seeking him with a sorrowful heart, remember the promises: "Return unto me, and I will return unto you;" "For a small moment have I forsaken thee, but with great mercies will I gather thee."

Now I know its old words...but I got a message from it. Jesus will always love me. I just need to turn to him.

my daily prayer

I have started a daily prayer. It reflects my personal situation...and it allows me to pray to God for a few seconds or minutes on end!!

I am praying for the Lord's protection. I feel I really need it at the moment. It always has the same structure:

• Lord please protect my family (Me, Tali and baby. Pray that we are a family protected from our own sins, that we are a family unit that loves, trusts and serves)
• Lord please protect my marriage (tali and me. that the attacks, the weaknesses we face do not destroy it)
• Lord please protect Tali (especially as she has baby inside her. protect her physically, emotionally and spiritually. especially protect her from anything I may do!)
• Lord please protect baby (from the stresses that Tali faces, from our own ignorance in looking after a baby, from choices we may make)
• Lord please protect me (I especially need it. Protection from temptation and my own weaknesses. From bad choices I make.)

Sometimes I just ask for protection from each....other times I get on my knees and get into details. Sometimes I remember to praise the Lord for the protection he gives me without me even knowing it!

aren't we not meant to not do it alone?

What has happened to our little group I wonder? We don't meet anymore. We don't talk much. I miss it...and I long for it.

And I see us doing it alone. Doing relationships alone. Doing day-to-day life issues alone. Doing our weaknesses alone.

Zella. Claire. Lipo. Tali and Myles. I see us struggle. Wandering in the wilderness. We will always have wilderness to wander...and that's exciting sometimes. But who will be my Moses. Or my Aaron?

I suppose it's lucky we all have the Lord.

how much forgiveness?

Looking at the news for the anniversary of the Port Arthur Massacre I wonder how much forgiveness do we need? I spoke to a christian at work about it recently and he said "there's a nice space in hell for that man."

Is everyone saveable? Where is the threshold where we decide someones sin is too much? Does God have a threshold?

Evil may be absolute (based on Jesus' standards) but is salvation and forgiveness also finite? Is God's grace big enough to cover any and all sin? What is that scripture which says that?

I read recently a saying "don't criticise a mans harvest if you have not seen the seed". I dont know Martin's sin. I dont know my wife's sin. I dont fully understand their seeds. But I know that God does, his grace can cover them all, and everyone is saveable! I am living proof of that.

So, could I forgive a man like Martin Bryant if he did something to my family? I dont know. I have not faced that spiritual challenge yet. I hope I could. I hope I could forgive and try to save him for Christ.