I just watched a silly romantic movie and came away thinking how amazing is love. If love is the essential character of our LORD and it's so amazing and incredible than why is it so hard to love?
I love my man and after 15 years together I'm still crazy about him. But their are times when he drives me crazy...what's that about??
If my life's mission is to love God and to love others then why do i struggle at it? Why can't it always be easy? I want to bless people and pour so much love into their lives...and it's times like that I get completely carried away and invite strangers to live in my house because they have no where else to go...
I know the LORD made me a giver because it's easy for me to think of others...I see something and I think of someone who could use it...I hear a problem and I think of a way to solve it...I am looking to rent a place with a double garage because we need somewhere to store all our stuff for church...a swimming pool because my nieces and nephews love to swim...a landlord who accepts pets so my niece can have a dog at my place cos they can't afford to keep a dog...near a station so my cousin can come and stay whenever she feels like it...this is how crazy love makes you!
I give away so much of our income that my man could only spend $3 on his lunch today. Even as he said this I was trying to figure out how we can help my brother find the money to send my nephew to a better school and pay for my brother's courses. I can't help myself.
It sounds so easy...love God and love others. What's so hard about love - it makes you feel like you can do anything, it picks you up when you fall, it fills you with such passion that you have to sit on your hands to stop yourself from jumping up and doing something. That's the Lord, HE IS THIS LOVE.
What gets in the way is people...people can't accept people. people are imperfect - God is not. Maybe i need to change that life mission of mine to love God and accept people even if they are unwilling to accept me and all my imperfections!
Friday, February 03, 2006
Thursday, February 02, 2006
My Rock
I have felt different all day today, its like I have no emotions today, its hard to explain. It's like my body is here but my spirit is somewhere else. There has been so much going on lately and at times I feel like I can't do it anymore but then the Lord gently puts his hand on my shoulder and reminds me that I can do it because I'm not doing it alone. The Lord is with me every step of the way.
Its funny how one minute you feel so empty and ready to let go of everything and all you have to do is call out his name and you are filled with this strength. Its like you have used up all of your energy and just as you are about to fall, he puts his arms out and catches you. But the beautiful thing is he doesn't stop there, he continues to carry you till you have the strength to walk beside him again.
Thank you Lord for being my rock and never giving up on me.
Its funny how one minute you feel so empty and ready to let go of everything and all you have to do is call out his name and you are filled with this strength. Its like you have used up all of your energy and just as you are about to fall, he puts his arms out and catches you. But the beautiful thing is he doesn't stop there, he continues to carry you till you have the strength to walk beside him again.
Thank you Lord for being my rock and never giving up on me.
all the glory belongs to you
one last obstacle - test results came back and my immunity to rubella has increased and my doctor was positive it would be enough to start IVF even tho it was still low immunity. I rang the IVF clinic and spoke to the Nurse.
I prayed as I spoke to the nurse that the LORD would go before me and help me to find favour. The nurse put me through to reception and they said the next appointment wasn't till the end of Feb. I waited for the LORD and she said ' since your case is urgent - next wed 2:45pm.' I thanked her.
Just like that my LORD intervened on my behalf.
LORD
as I step out on this final part of a very long journey, I give you the glory. I'm not sure what's around the corner but you are LORD. I know that you have prepared the way for me and you are in control. No matter what the outcome, I know you have laid out the days of my life. I trust you LORD with my life and the lives of my children.
I look forward to giving my new niece some playmates close to her age! All my hope is in you LORD.
I prayed as I spoke to the nurse that the LORD would go before me and help me to find favour. The nurse put me through to reception and they said the next appointment wasn't till the end of Feb. I waited for the LORD and she said ' since your case is urgent - next wed 2:45pm.' I thanked her.
Just like that my LORD intervened on my behalf.
LORD
as I step out on this final part of a very long journey, I give you the glory. I'm not sure what's around the corner but you are LORD. I know that you have prepared the way for me and you are in control. No matter what the outcome, I know you have laid out the days of my life. I trust you LORD with my life and the lives of my children.
I look forward to giving my new niece some playmates close to her age! All my hope is in you LORD.
Relying solely on God
last night was the very fist night i stayed in my flat all by myself...i feel like a big girl now :p
God is so good at preparing me for this....though i was a bit nervous and anxious, i felt the need to stay there by myself, my doubting mind was giving me all excuses to call someone to come over and keep me company, but the Lord won!
its great to get confirmation through others that the Lord wants you to LIVE WHAT YOU BELIEVE NOT JUST KNOW IT!!! its like walking the scriptures you meditate on not just memorizing them!
Psalms 91 says "he will send his angels concerning you" and last night i had to live it...ALL BY MYSELF!! (wheres the teamwork in this place) :p
Our God is a good, merciful, compassionate, loving God whose tender mercys are renewed everyday....these are the things we must strive to LIVE out in our lives, not just medtate on it and do nothing with it.
Its like what Tali said " you either get out of the boat and walk the water trusting that Jesus will come to your rescue or stay in the boat,know your scriptures and hang out with your fellow Christians"
The Lord is giving us glimpses of his purpose in even the little things we do and say, little by little he prepares us, stregnthen encourage us through our decisions......he wont push us off the boat unless we choose to get out ourselves!
I want to get out of the boat and meet Jesus not know my scriptures and stay in the boat and meet only the disciples...no offence to the disciples, but Jesus is the WAY the TRUTH and the LIFE!
decide today to "GET OUT OF THE BOAT" (i cant swim) you will sink, you will be scared as i was previously,but i had no one else to cling to last night but my faith and trust in the Lord that he will not leave me nor forsake me.
That he has authority over any storm!!!
God is so good at preparing me for this....though i was a bit nervous and anxious, i felt the need to stay there by myself, my doubting mind was giving me all excuses to call someone to come over and keep me company, but the Lord won!
its great to get confirmation through others that the Lord wants you to LIVE WHAT YOU BELIEVE NOT JUST KNOW IT!!! its like walking the scriptures you meditate on not just memorizing them!
Psalms 91 says "he will send his angels concerning you" and last night i had to live it...ALL BY MYSELF!! (wheres the teamwork in this place) :p
Our God is a good, merciful, compassionate, loving God whose tender mercys are renewed everyday....these are the things we must strive to LIVE out in our lives, not just medtate on it and do nothing with it.
Its like what Tali said " you either get out of the boat and walk the water trusting that Jesus will come to your rescue or stay in the boat,know your scriptures and hang out with your fellow Christians"
The Lord is giving us glimpses of his purpose in even the little things we do and say, little by little he prepares us, stregnthen encourage us through our decisions......he wont push us off the boat unless we choose to get out ourselves!
I want to get out of the boat and meet Jesus not know my scriptures and stay in the boat and meet only the disciples...no offence to the disciples, but Jesus is the WAY the TRUTH and the LIFE!
decide today to "GET OUT OF THE BOAT" (i cant swim) you will sink, you will be scared as i was previously,but i had no one else to cling to last night but my faith and trust in the Lord that he will not leave me nor forsake me.
That he has authority over any storm!!!
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
walking on water
I was just reminded of a few things about the LORD:
When the LORD speaks directly to me it's usually a simple statement and in the middle of my busy mind I hear this statement and usually it's contrary to my own thoughts. It's a simple truth or a revelation.
You can do one of two things in the silence when he doesn't speak to you again for a while...you can act on that revelation OR you can wait...and wait...and wait...what are you waiting for?
People wait for the details...how am I going to do this, when? who?...was that for me LORD or for someone else???
He's expecting you to be obedient and do what he told you to do...not wait...because really he's WAITING FOR YOU to take that first step...
So he gives a revelation you believe it and you step out in faith - act on it. When you go the wrong way or when a storm hits because you r actually out there doing something for the LORD and not yourself. You start to panic and doubt.
It's like Peter walking on water....he got out of the boat, than heard the wind, felt the storm and doubted.
The storm is when you are meant to stay focused. Keep your eyes on the LORD...this too will pass, don't start looking around at the storm and doubting the LORD's revelation. He believed in you if no one else believes in you - he does, because he doesn't change.
So you start to sink...a key to the Peter story is that the LORD rescued him. He so loved Peter that he let him take that leap of faith even though he knew a few steps later Peter was going to doubt. Why didn't he say ' look mate, stay in the boat, you ain't going to make it to the other side! Don't waste your time and energy, just stay put I will come to you!'
Because our LORD is about the journey - not just getting from A to B. He was building a relationship with Peter, teaching him that even though he was going to be the rock he built his church on - he had to stay focused on him, keep his eyes on him, to run his race.
He wants to teach us because he wants us to learn from EXPERIENCE even if the lesson is hard. Imagine if he didn't let Peter get out of the boat because he knew he wasn't going to make it.....Peter would have never known what it was like to walk on water. He would have never known even for a brief moment what it felt like to do the impossible, just him with the LORD.
Peter actually got to walk on water! What must that feel like?! If you knew you were going to start sinking after a few steps on the water would you still have gotten out of the boat? I would have! If I knew the LORD was going to rescue me I would have jumped into that water.
Where is the real risk with God on your side? Sinking, or failing, is not the risk because the LORD will never fail us and he always has a rescue plan. The real risk is doing nothing, never experiencing what it means to truly believe. SAYING you believe and EXPERIENCING what you believe is so very different. It's in experiencing it that we learn to walk on water.
When the LORD speaks directly to me it's usually a simple statement and in the middle of my busy mind I hear this statement and usually it's contrary to my own thoughts. It's a simple truth or a revelation.
You can do one of two things in the silence when he doesn't speak to you again for a while...you can act on that revelation OR you can wait...and wait...and wait...what are you waiting for?
People wait for the details...how am I going to do this, when? who?...was that for me LORD or for someone else???
He's expecting you to be obedient and do what he told you to do...not wait...because really he's WAITING FOR YOU to take that first step...
So he gives a revelation you believe it and you step out in faith - act on it. When you go the wrong way or when a storm hits because you r actually out there doing something for the LORD and not yourself. You start to panic and doubt.
It's like Peter walking on water....he got out of the boat, than heard the wind, felt the storm and doubted.
The storm is when you are meant to stay focused. Keep your eyes on the LORD...this too will pass, don't start looking around at the storm and doubting the LORD's revelation. He believed in you if no one else believes in you - he does, because he doesn't change.
So you start to sink...a key to the Peter story is that the LORD rescued him. He so loved Peter that he let him take that leap of faith even though he knew a few steps later Peter was going to doubt. Why didn't he say ' look mate, stay in the boat, you ain't going to make it to the other side! Don't waste your time and energy, just stay put I will come to you!'
Because our LORD is about the journey - not just getting from A to B. He was building a relationship with Peter, teaching him that even though he was going to be the rock he built his church on - he had to stay focused on him, keep his eyes on him, to run his race.
He wants to teach us because he wants us to learn from EXPERIENCE even if the lesson is hard. Imagine if he didn't let Peter get out of the boat because he knew he wasn't going to make it.....Peter would have never known what it was like to walk on water. He would have never known even for a brief moment what it felt like to do the impossible, just him with the LORD.
Peter actually got to walk on water! What must that feel like?! If you knew you were going to start sinking after a few steps on the water would you still have gotten out of the boat? I would have! If I knew the LORD was going to rescue me I would have jumped into that water.
Where is the real risk with God on your side? Sinking, or failing, is not the risk because the LORD will never fail us and he always has a rescue plan. The real risk is doing nothing, never experiencing what it means to truly believe. SAYING you believe and EXPERIENCING what you believe is so very different. It's in experiencing it that we learn to walk on water.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)