i can imagine the Lord having a chuckle as he sees my subtle panic about flying alone. He knows I hate it, and i am scared as anything of going by myself on airplanes.Some may say "its only 3 hours to Nz" i say "thats 3 hours too long"
but its amazing how much God catches my attention in these times of flying solo.I hear everything as Im so much more alert than i am normally to what he says to me.In the air, I am all ears and for the first time NO MOUTH! it must be a ball for the Lord, coz he gets to do all the talking. The Lord reminds me again on how it feels to surrender all to him and to leave him in 110 % control.I feel so helpless on the plane, because there is absolutley nothing i can handle on the plane....apart from alcohol! My life is in his hands, my trust completely thrown at his feet as i rely and depend on him. Trust me...3 hours of that is an eternity for me, but thats how the Lord wants me to live everyday...like i am a child who cant fend for herself but rely on him for my every need.
I love how God speaks to me in the midst of my worst fear...he is truly my comforter!
"Lord keep me in your hands tomorrow when i fly out to nz...you are my protector and i hide myself in the shelter of your wings. I plead Psalm 91 all over that plane, and on Emma and Lipos plane tonight.No weapon forged against us shall prosper in the awesome and everlasting name of Jesus!!
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Marriage...Love..Unity!
Ive just finished writing my samoan speech for Enokas wedding (our cousin/bro who is getting married in two days in nz) and it just hit me that he is getting married for real. I guess i was subconsciously waiting for him to pull out and say its off, but saying goodbye to Lipo who is going too, just made it real to me. Its a huge committment to be entered into, and it should be with fear and trembling i guess, not with a possibility of divorce or separation. Nothing can scream Gods desire for unity so clearly than marriage!
im sad,but for selfish reasons, i want all my brothers to myself...but also glad that hes finally made a choice! A lifechanging choice i bet, but he will be better for it. Its a choice that definetly pleases God and for me thats enough to snap me out of my selfishness and be joyful.
Its a joyous occasion no doubt and i pray that Noka and his bride take it as a committment to the Lord first, then to each other. "Lord may they be founded on you, may their family be built on your love and truth,may they always find love in you, may they unite in you"
I pray also that me and Lipo,take a new flavour of faith to Nz with us. That we can stand against conformity and declare what God has done for us without fear.That the Lord will strengthen us in the shortime we are there so we can be a shoulder to lean on, a calm and refuge for those already caught up in the wedding madness.That we maybe a voice of discernment and wisdom, that we may be peace makers.I pray that I dont get stressed myself I pray that we take the Lord with us!!!
i look forward to it.....to letting my brother go to be cared for and loved by the woman God has chosen for him. To be blessed by her and vice versa, so they can go forth and multiply and give me great and wonderful nieces and nephews :p
Yes, its all about me!!!
im sad,but for selfish reasons, i want all my brothers to myself...but also glad that hes finally made a choice! A lifechanging choice i bet, but he will be better for it. Its a choice that definetly pleases God and for me thats enough to snap me out of my selfishness and be joyful.
Its a joyous occasion no doubt and i pray that Noka and his bride take it as a committment to the Lord first, then to each other. "Lord may they be founded on you, may their family be built on your love and truth,may they always find love in you, may they unite in you"
I pray also that me and Lipo,take a new flavour of faith to Nz with us. That we can stand against conformity and declare what God has done for us without fear.That the Lord will strengthen us in the shortime we are there so we can be a shoulder to lean on, a calm and refuge for those already caught up in the wedding madness.That we maybe a voice of discernment and wisdom, that we may be peace makers.I pray that I dont get stressed myself I pray that we take the Lord with us!!!
i look forward to it.....to letting my brother go to be cared for and loved by the woman God has chosen for him. To be blessed by her and vice versa, so they can go forth and multiply and give me great and wonderful nieces and nephews :p
Yes, its all about me!!!
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
I am full of joy...
hey team...thought I would update you on why I am so full of joy these days.
I am really really reallly really enjoying building my faith at the moment. I am reading heaps (the Bible, 'resources'), meditating, understanding, praying.
I feel it's all building me. Making me more solid. Giving me more peace and grace. All nice words I know...but in my heart I know it's real. It's changed me...and changing me.
And the more I do it, the more I enjoy it. The more I enjoy reading the Bible. Studying other books. And praying.
I am really really reallly really enjoying building my faith at the moment. I am reading heaps (the Bible, 'resources'), meditating, understanding, praying.
I feel it's all building me. Making me more solid. Giving me more peace and grace. All nice words I know...but in my heart I know it's real. It's changed me...and changing me.
And the more I do it, the more I enjoy it. The more I enjoy reading the Bible. Studying other books. And praying.
so much going on - what's the answer?
We may have relationship changes, riots in the streets, and ask 'what now?' Once again I am reminded that we were not born to be alone.
When I do my personal testimony, this will be a key message. I was alone. Sure I had people around me. I interacted. But my style (with work, family and friends) all added up to me being alone. Which I thought was OK because I am a loner!
Sure I am to blame for creating this style. But I also allowed it to happen rather than confront the issues that created it. Whatever the reasons, I now know I needed to not be alone.
Loneliness, the very opposite of community, is the most crushing of all emotions. Only in 'community' can we feel most fully alive. Most human. As Christians we need to build 'community'. It ain't easy. But God wants us to have commuity in our small groups. In our Church. And in our community.
The best way to feel part of a community is by a warm loving welcome. That's what I feel with this small group. And, selfishly, I dont want to lose it. What can I do? Being persistent and keep on being loving and welcoming.
When I do my personal testimony, this will be a key message. I was alone. Sure I had people around me. I interacted. But my style (with work, family and friends) all added up to me being alone. Which I thought was OK because I am a loner!
Sure I am to blame for creating this style. But I also allowed it to happen rather than confront the issues that created it. Whatever the reasons, I now know I needed to not be alone.
Loneliness, the very opposite of community, is the most crushing of all emotions. Only in 'community' can we feel most fully alive. Most human. As Christians we need to build 'community'. It ain't easy. But God wants us to have commuity in our small groups. In our Church. And in our community.
The best way to feel part of a community is by a warm loving welcome. That's what I feel with this small group. And, selfishly, I dont want to lose it. What can I do? Being persistent and keep on being loving and welcoming.
Monday, December 12, 2005
life's dramas...
It's almost Christmas. Exciting!!! It will be a very different Christmas this year without my cousin, May, to play Mum over all of us...and then Christmas without Bubba...gee I write that and i have to hold back the tears. How sad am I?!
For me Christmas is all about the kids in 'our extended family' which is May and her tribe, my brother and his tribe, and our household (myles, my other bro - rob, and myself). So the kids are Bubba, Tylah, Taneisha and CJ (they are all crazy and very hypo). Except without Bubba it will be very boring for the other 3. She's the eldest, the ring leader, the others are siblings who get up each other's noses every minute of the day! I'm going to seriously miss her.
But then Len, my other cousin, and his family are joining us, plus his bro, Eddie and his girlfriend. We all get along well so it should be heaps of fun but different.
I was telling the rest of our group that this will be the first christmas I am looking forward to since my Dad died (Mar 2003). Ok, tears again, sad sad sad....it use to feel like it was only yesterday I saw him, but now it feels like a long time ago...and yes I miss him desperately.
bittersweet my life will always be
without you next to me.
yes, I will miss my Dad always.
For me Christmas is all about the kids in 'our extended family' which is May and her tribe, my brother and his tribe, and our household (myles, my other bro - rob, and myself). So the kids are Bubba, Tylah, Taneisha and CJ (they are all crazy and very hypo). Except without Bubba it will be very boring for the other 3. She's the eldest, the ring leader, the others are siblings who get up each other's noses every minute of the day! I'm going to seriously miss her.
But then Len, my other cousin, and his family are joining us, plus his bro, Eddie and his girlfriend. We all get along well so it should be heaps of fun but different.
I was telling the rest of our group that this will be the first christmas I am looking forward to since my Dad died (Mar 2003). Ok, tears again, sad sad sad....it use to feel like it was only yesterday I saw him, but now it feels like a long time ago...and yes I miss him desperately.
bittersweet my life will always be
without you next to me.
yes, I will miss my Dad always.
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