health kick

don't think i've posted on this...but about 3 mths ago I started a 'biggest loser' comp with my family. My sister-in-law was doing it at her work, so I thought there are a few of my close family needing to do something about their health. We did really well in the 1st couple of months until christmas hit and then it was hard to meet up and people went away on holidays. Might do it again later in the year for another 3 mths. We met once a week compulsory to exercise together, and then another night for those super keen.

Most of us lost some weight. It really kick started me on doing something about my health. I've lost 13 kilos. I'm trying to increase my exercise so I'm doing something everyday. I found that just running around after the children helped. Most days I only sit down for an hour at most in total....5 mins here and there.

But my little ones are starting to have more of a routine...every time I say that to myself Riley starts teething again and doesn't sleep for very long!

Yesterday I managed to actually read something during the day. I'm realising more and more than I need to spend time doing things that I love like meeting up with my girl cousins, reading, crafty things. Rather than just duties and chores!

Myles and I are planning to be more involved in other activities this year. My worry is exercise will be sacrificed and that is a huge priority for me. In the back of my mind is this thought - I'm an older parent and i need to stay young and healthy for my kids. I want to see my grandchildren. I can't do that if I'm unfit and unhealthy.

I realised a few years ago that I take care of my mind and spirit but never my body. I have apologised to the LORD about that because he gave me such a good beginning. I use to be skinny and sporty. But i've used and abused one of his gifts to me.

The LORD is covering me with his grace because he knows this is such an area of weakness for me. Even when I take giant steps backwards I still keep losing weight.

But now I really need to move to another level and change my lifestyle. It has to have lots of activities which focuses on my fitness. Those three magic words which the LORD seems to have written over my life pop into my head:

BALANCE SIMPLIFY ACCEPT

discipline

i just had a moment with my son which has brought home to me that I need to decide how to discipline him and stick to it.

I use to think that a little smack on the hand was ok esp when they're young like caleb's age now. But that was before I had caleb. I gave him one smack on his leg when he did something really naughty last year sometime. I was so upset with myself that I decided i would never do it again. It's not ok for him to smack people so why is it ok for me? How can I teach him if I don't lead by example??

So just now, I was breastfeeding riley on the couch, caleb sitting next to me. I didn't realise he had riley's toe in his mouth till she gave a little yelp. he had bitten her toe. Once i realised what he was doing I immediately told him off. And moved him away from us. He reacted badly which is normal for him. I told him to say sorry to his sister and he refused so I let him sulk while continuing to breastfeed.

But then he reached for her foot again and i instinctively flicked his hand and said 'NO!' It was a smack, ever so small but still. Caleb totally lost the plot and was so angry and tried to hit me. I was so taken back by it. I said 'No, caleb don't hit me' but he tried again. His face was so angry and hurt by me.

I just wanted to hug him and say sorry. In his lifetime where has he learnt to raise his hand and hit? Has he seen my nieces and nephews do it? I know he was with a couple of boy cousins and they were beating each other up as if it was a game, and I immediately took him away. Was it that one time when I hit him??? My son is 2yrs old and 2 mths. He already knows how to hit another person!

I am never going to hit him. I know it was reflex to protect riley, my other hand was holding her to my boob, so I was caught out. I should have removed myself from him. But I just didn't think he was going to try bite her again.

It was a rebellious moment. Maybe it's a human reaction. Maybe caleb was acting instinctively to protect himself.

Now I remember, I was kissing her foot better at the time so when he reached for her foot that second time...he may even have been trying to kiss it better too! But I just reacted instinctively. I have to be very careful from now on. My son is at the terrible 2 age so I need to be consistent about how I discipline him. Never again will I smack him.

We kissed and made up, lots of big hugs all round. But it caused me to pause.

mummy moments

it's funny but the simplest of things become very hard with two little ones. Take using the phone. I often annoy my family because it's impossible to get a hold of me. Unlike a lot of them I don't carry my phone on me.

If only people could see me talking on the phone or texting or even on this pc. There is usually one child crawling under me because when I keep still they come running!

Even now my daughter is trying to stand up by holding on to my knees. She wants my attention.

Today i had my hand in the air texting a cousin of mine in Ireland while two kids were sitting on my lap. My son was playing choo choo train and my daughter climbing over me trying to reach the bookcase.

And now I have scooped her up and of course she is searching for boob. So now I'm multi-tasking :)

I love my days!

time out

since i wrote my last post i have really been put to the challenge about what needs to change and how I can be responsible for my life! In all honesty I can say last night and today has been totally crap, but as always in the midst of confusion and trials the LORD shines hope.

I visited Faith's blog which was just what i needed. I remembered I was going to do one of her wonderful list things on christmas day. But I never did. It's just what I need to chill out so going to make a cup of tea, let my man mind my kids behind me as I zone out :)

Seven things I did before I was a Mom:

1. played volleyball for a club - loved it!
2. walked in the rain ...just seems a bit irresponsible to do that with little kids :)
3. danced and danced out on the town with my family. I still dance but with my little ones to wiggles songs or occassionally at family weddings and birthdays...but that's too old ABBA songs!
4. drank gin and tonic - in fairness I had 2 last month at my cousins hens/bucks night. But the long wait before I could breastfeed riley wasn't worth it so will wait till riley can drink from a bottle.
5. movie marathons...in cinemas when they have 3 movies in a row starting at 11pmish and finishing about 6amish.
6. all nighters with loved ones - stay up all night and go to bed after breakfast!
7. paint...sooo haven't done that! But I have a list of ideas for next ones to do.

Seven things I do, now that I know Jesus really loves me:

1. cast all my cares on to him including my gripes :)
2. listen for his voice in my every day life
3. give more than i take
4. examine my heart
5. sing without reservation because I sing for him
6. love more and judge less
7. change

Seven things I would like to do:

1. see more of the world the LORD has made, especially with my children
2. learn how to sew! Becos it hinders so many of my craft projects
3. learn how to drive
4. buy a holiday home by a beach so my extended family can go on holiday
5. visit Watoto in Uganda
6. spoil my grand-children
7. spoil my mum

Seven things that still attract me to my husband!

1. he loves to play with his nieces and nephews and now his children
2. he loves to help others
3. he still makes me laugh
4. he lets me have time to do this, even though it's taking me ages and the kids are going crazy
5. he's so happy to see his son running to him after work and he has love written all over his face as he scoops him up and squeezes him!
6. most of the time he sits in shopping malls patiently waiting for me to finish
7. his beautiful eyes

Seven favorite foods:

1. ham on the bone
2. lattes
3. chippies/crisps
4. mangoes
5. lime ice cream
6. seafood pasta salad my cousin makes
7. pork buns
   

Seven things I say most often:

1. No, caleb...hopefully temporary :)
2. baby...to both my little ones
3. love you
4. thank you LORD (whenever my kids escape seriously injuring themselves after a tumble! this happens often)
5. why? (to the LORD, my hubby, myself!)
6. careful...to caleb mostly :)
7. when are you coming home? to guess who :)

New year old year gripes

There are times when i seriously don't like myself. I'm snappy and lose the plot over things like messy kitchens and bathrooms. Certain people rub me up the wrong way and i find fault everywhere.

These are things that concern me because they add unnecessarily to my daily chores and with a little effort by everyone, my life is made easier. But is it worth losing my joy over?

So today i hung out with an old girlfriend of mine. Always afterwards I feel a lot lighter and happier. Why is it some people lift you up and others pull you down? Does that mean i should surround myself with the 1st lot and banish the 2nd lot to a small corner in my life...only to be dealt with when necessary. Or am i just being to fussy??

IT'S A NEW YEAR! Life does not have to be an accumulation of wasted moments. I am 40 years old. I am in charge of my own life. If I don't like it then something needs to change otherwise I'm doomed to live wasted moments.

I would much rather celebrate life and have real life changing moments. Hanging out with my kids is awesome and fun but being responsible for everything in my home is not. I'm not the only adult here.

Last week I went to bed at midnight or soon after. Even by 11pm one night. But my little ones have been waking up a lot due to the heat and riley is teething. So I have had lots of broken sleep. I'm not good with broken sleep. Yet still i'm expected to do everything else in the house.

Something has to change. It's a new year, a great time to start a fresh and shake off the old ways!

potential

Every now and then I sit doing something ordinary like watching tv and a thought slips into my head. What am I meant to achieve in this life of mine? I'm 40, what was i meant to do by now? Am I doing it or am i nowhere near close to where I should be??

I'm worried about other people in my life, that they will be swamped and give up, their relationship with the LORD. But what about my relationship with the LORD?

I found myself asking 'just how close am i to you LORD?'. Another thought popped into my head - How close do you want to be?

My answer is this - as close as i can be, as close as if i was resting my head on his chest...or as a child sitting at her Father's feet - safe, happy, protected.

Can I be that close to you LORD? If I was I would whisper into you ear 'hold on tightly to my brother and don't let him go'.

I wonder what my potential was meant to be? I am 40 yrs old and I still have a desire to reach my potential before I die...not to fulfil it, because I have an eternity for that, but to be where I'm meant to be at whatever age I meet the LORD.

I'm doing a 5 yr plan, and I think I need to step up my game. Life is just too short and I have 2 beautiful children who need me to be around for as long as i possibly can be...without being a burden to them of course :)