our relationship

everyone thinks myles and i have this near perfect relationship...but this is far from the truth. Most of the time we get along fine because we have very similar temperaments when life is going smoothly...but not when we're upset. I am someone who has to deal with it and fix it no matter how emotional it gets or how much conflict it causes. Whereas my man is a sweep under the carpet until it can't be ignored kind of guy....and then it needs to be smoothed over so we can live with it, but not necessarily resolve it. Those are our extreme reactions.

We've had some major marriage problems to deal with and some of these have hung around all our relationship life together....I think myles gets his way more than he realises :-) You would think since myles became a christian 3 years ago we would communicate these a lot better...but most ot the time this hasn't been the case. We've been together 17 years...12 years of marriage...spent most of our 20s and all our 30s together.

Why am i sharing this because some of the key lessons of my life to date have been dealing with my relationship with myles. And to say that a believing husband is just as hard to deal with as a non-believing husband....myles should know he's had to put up with a believing wife all this time:-)

The number one thing the LORD has said to me about myles happened when i had moved onto a new level in my faith. I guess the LORD was waiting till i was ready. I was praying and upset with Myles and saying to the LORD 'change him, he's driving me crazy...blah blah'. And the LORD's still quiet voice, my Counsellor, the Holy Spirit, said one line to me...this is one of the ways he communicates to me, by putting a single thought in my head which is often very different from the thoughts i'm having at the time...and it speaks the truth into whatever situation i am in...the line was 'FOR HIM TO CHANGE YOU MUST CHANGE'.

Of course that killed me because I realised all this time i was waiting for myles to change, and the LORD was waiting for me to change. I balled my eyes out and praised him.

This is when i discovered Joyce Meyer. I'm a nite owl, so the next night i was awake in the early hours of the morning and i heard this unforgettable voice. And she said 'stop waiting for your husband to change, you need to change!' If you know Joyce you would know her marriage story which i recognised in my own.

I knew it was the LORD confirming his message to me. And so i took my eyes of Myles and put them back on me. It took a couple of years, but i stopped being angry with him, and trying to force feed him the LORD. I found Hillsong Church, their city congregation which was within walking distance of our home. And Myles came with me. He even took notes. I don't know how much sunk in but it was a worldly understanding and not a spiritual one. But i think hearing other people speak of the LORD was good for him. The LORD was at work even if myles didn't know it.

My next real breakthrough came after a long time of testing for me...when i lost a baby, a fallopian tube, part of my ovary, and my Dad. I was at a Hillsong conference and I had learnt a lot at my time with Hillsong. I found the LORD asking me to trust him and to follow him into the dark. My spirit soared and I said the unthinkable and meant it with all my heart 'WHATEVER YOU WANT LORD'

If i had known what the LORD would ask of me, I would have taken that statement back:-) but I gave him permission to do whatever it would take to save my husband even if it meant sacrificing me. But that's my man's story. What it meant for me was a final test in which the LORD would show me just how much more I needed to trust him.

It showed me that sometimes the LORD asks of us things we never thought we were capable of doing. That all our lives are preparation for key turning points where we can choose to obey or choose to turn our own way. These moments teach us so much about who we are and who God is. It builds our relationship with him, but it also puts it at risk. I learnt that God doesn't care about PERFECT...i guess that's why he loves us so much:-) And how far he would go to save his children, that one lost son or daughter.

Satan has plans for our destruction, moments like these when we are tempted to turn away from the LORD and to believe he has abandoned us and does not love us. But the LORD already knows all the days of our lives and he prepares us for these turning points so that we can stand up under it and he also provides a way out for us.

It was practice ground for what I already knew that life is not about me it's about saving others. About bringing God's children home, my brothers and sisters, and thankfully my husband.

And then Caleb was born...i couldn't feel more loved by Him. Two answered prayers - a saved husband and a baby. It reminds me of Matthew 6:33...seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Our God reigns.