God's hands

i want to bring God glory...by making dreams come true.
so when i do something for someone they don't thank me but they thank the LORD
so when I bless them they don't give me the credit but all credit goes to the LORD.

I want them to be blown away by how much the LORD loves them. He sees them right where they are and he wants to reach out to them and bless their world. So they know that the LORD is relevant to their everyday lives.

So I do stuff to meet their every day needs.

Other times I do stuff that's just out there and that really blows their minds. I want them to know that our LORD is the God of the impossible and he is more than able to bless them beyond anything they can think or imagine. These aren't always big things either, but just things that make them feel special and loved.

The holy spirit puts ideas into my head and then he helps me to fulfil them. It always amazes me how much our budget stretches when it needs to. We always meet our needs and can afford to do things for others that most people would think is too much.

As the LORD increases what's in our hands we are able to increase what's in other people's hands. We are his hands to the world.

vince

hit me hard today that I'm not going to see my cousin. I have a thing about saying goodbye to my loved ones that have died. It's as if not seeing them means I have no closure, especially when they live in a different country. I feel like they are still there because the last time I saw them they were alive.

My cousin, Vince, is a part of my inner circle of family - he's a part of me. I have a very large extended family - that's just my mother's side. She had 14 brothers and sisters and from them I have over 60 1st cousins. Out of all these families, I have one particular family which I have always been connected to - my aunty's family, and Vince is her youngest son.

He was only 3 years older than me and now he's gone. I feel like I should be there. I've lost one of my dearest, my closest family. I know I can't be there - I have a little 4 mth baby who needs me and I needed the money to help with the funeral, fares, etc. My mum and my two brothers got to go which is awesome.

But I'm still here and I feel like I've missed an opportunity i will never have again - to say good-bye to someone special to me.

I hope and pray that everyone will focus on his good side and not go on about what he struggled in life to overcome. He wasn't perfect, but in his weakness he showed me qualities that very few in my family have - to be able to serve with a cheerful heart. He knew what people said about him and it upset him, but it didn't stop him from giving.

LORD

i didn't get to say good-bye. i know he's with you and it doesn't make sense to talk to a dead body, but it's all that remains of him. he's too busy with you now having an awesome time, joking and laughing with everyone else so he wont hear us.

But i have no idea how things work in heaven. So on the off chance you let our loved ones hear our last words - say good-bye to him from me and ask him to forgive me for not helping him sooner. Forgive our family for not remembering the many little things he did for us whenever we went home. Tell him I'm going to miss him and I love him.

Please be with my family at home for his funeral. Help them to be united, to be filled with your spirit of peace and to work together. Help them to listen to each other LORD. And please protect them all. Let this be a time for your good works so something good does come out of all this sadness. Please comfort them and bring them closer to you during this time.

Thank you LORD for your unfailing love for us, your faithfulness to your unfaithful children, and your awesome grace through our Saviour which covers us every day. We put our hope in you LORD and look forward to your plans being fulfilled in our lives. In Jesus name I pray.

overload

lots on my mind at the moment. Prayed last nite for the LORD's protection over my family as I feel there are a lot of underlying conflicts within my immediate circle of loved ones.

But at the same time there is progress with my business as opportunities arise out of sadness. It's the LORD's timing for me that in needing a Pacific focus in my business and not being able to travel that my family are going to two Pacific destinations this year. For a funeral and for a birthday.

I am scared because it's finally starting to happen business wise - a dream that has taken me years to realise. Also, progress in my main purpose in life - shelter from the wind, refuge from the storm, blessed to be a blessing

Myles and I are looking at buying a holiday home. A home just for ourselves wouldn't bless others. But a holiday home that lots of people can use would be a great blessing. We could use it to bless the families at church, we could approach shelters, orphanages, foster home organisations, to use our place as a getaway for all the people they serve. Plus our own family who can't afford holidays away for large groups, plus my nieces and nephews.

I feel like i have revealed two huge dreams to others that I have kept to myself - my dream business, my missionary dream to go into poor stricken countries and meet their basic needs...
it's all happening....maybe this is the floodgates of heaven that I have been praying about....tithing promise coming to fruition...my son calls

another loved one

lost another loved one in the weekend - my cousin. He was one of the LORD's children who struggled with his daily life but even though I saw him down I remember him smiling and joking. He was a server and a giver and he spoke his mind. Even though people said things against him, still he offered them hospitality from his humble home in Samoa, sharing whatever he had.

I believe the LORD loved him. He was that 1 lost sheep out of a 100 that the LORD would leave the 99 to look for and rescue because the LORD loved him so much. Now my cousin doesn't have to struggle any more because I believe he is finally home.

I must have a simple faith. I believe our relationship with the LORD starts the first time we reached out to him, called on his name. I believe the LORD is the most just judge because unlike us he sees everything. He sees us when we are alone and cannot hide. He sees us when we do a simple kind act so small no one else notices. He sees us when we are broken, when we are sinning, when we praise him, when no one else sees us - he does. He formed us and saw all our days before we were even a thought in our parents minds. We are no surprise to him.

He knew my cousin better than anyone. He saw what we didn't see all the good and the bad. And he gave me such a heart for my cousin that I know he had an even bigger heart for him. 'His grace is sufficient for when I am weak I am strong' - that is my cousin. In his weakness he showed his true character that he was still able to love those who looked down on him, who judged him. He had a good heart, even though it upset him, he was still able to love. That is who my LORD is. I believe my cousin was more like the LORD than others gave him credit for.

But that's just me.

muddled thoughts

what if your life was THIS for the rest of your life? Whatever 'THIS' is for you...your every day life, what you spend most of your time doing, what you do for a living, who you spend your time with...all of the above.

What does 'THIS' look like for me? It's hanging out with my son which means looking after him, entertaining him, feeding him, loving him, hugging him, kissing him, etc. Hanging out with my husband...riding in the car, shopping, laughing, eating in the same room, watchng tv, sleeping, etc. Hanging out sometimes with family, occassionally with a friend or two.

What if 'THIS' was it? Nothing more and nothing less. Would i feel like I had fulfilled my purpose in life? Or would I feel like something was missing, like I hadn't done enough?

I dream BIG dreams. It's the way the LORD made me. I imagine the floodgates of heaven opening and see the wonders the LORD would achieve. It makes me want to jump up and down and rush out and conquer evil. So what if I never did this but settled in suburbia, in a safe church, with a safe life thinking my marriage is wonderful while ignoring the cracks which show up when I stand still....

Most people would think I was a positive, encouraging, happy person....except my husband and my mum. Why is that? They see my negative side, experience my disappointment and anger.

I wrote once that if I could say i was a good wife and mother then that would be enough. But i don't know what that looks like. Does it look like a wife who accepts everything and does whatever is required of her , keeps house and puts herself second? Or is it a woman who wants to be everything she can be and encourages her loved ones to be all they can be? Problem is sometimes people don't want to be anything more than they are right now. So encouragement sounds like a nagging pushy wife or an overprotective and overpowering mother....and then you stand still and you can't be bothered being anything more than you are right now.

i don't have the power to fix everything, but for some reason I insist on trying.

i'm talking in circles.

easter

what does this mean to me...
so much. it was a critical time in history, in the life of my Lord, in God's master plan, and in my little ordinary life.

it was Jesus who saved me as a 16 year old. How can someone who lived over 2,000 years ago, whose life i have only read about, and who I have only met in spirit, change me so dramatically? It took one final moment as a 16 year old at a Youth Group camp to set me free. Just like that I felt like a new creation, innocence restored, my sins removed from me and a new beginning.

That's Easter. A story I knew by heart became such a reality in my life that I believe without a doubt my sins crucified my Saviour. My life was on his mind as he put aside his power as God's son to suffer on my behalf. Not just my life but every single Christian since that first Easter.

I know that because, before he was arrested, he prayed for us all. He thought of us. He was about to suffer a horrific death and he remembered us. (John 17)

Just reminded of a line in a song 'who am I that the LORD should know my name...' I am one of many who through the centuries and generations remember this legacy that belongs to us...

A legacy of the love of a son for his father

and the love of a father for all his children.

He sacrificed one to save many,

my one and only beloved Lord and Saviour.

the honest truth

i have a huge thing about lies. I hate them. It's not because I've never told any - in fact i've told plenty in my life time...small white ones that disguise who I really am so I don't look bad, large whoppers to protect myself from physical harm, and of course the kind that result in me being able to do whatever I want without other people knowing.

During most of these times I knew the LORD and talked to him about them because I wasn't stupid enough to think he was asleep at the time I was misbehaving or that he would look the other way because he loved me. I knew enough about real love from my parents to know that with lies come consequences and that lies spiral into bigger deceptions.

So when I was at University, I started making a conscious effort to stop lying no matter how small or how much trouble I would get into or what people would think of me. It took me a few years. I started building honest and real relationships with my loved ones. I no longer wanted to be something I wasn't - perfect.

When I started work I use to 'pull sickies' and for some reason this didn't make me feel guilty. I nearly always did feel a little bit sick, but never really enough to stay home for a day, and sometimes I just wanted to be at a beach. But eventually I stopped telling these lies.

This seems a lot of effort for one of the supposedly 'SMALLER' sins - I mean it's not like a murdered anyone or hurt anyone. But it's one of Satan's biggest weapons. It's a label used for him 'Father of lies'. It deceives people and keeps them from the truth - keeps them from the LORD.

Have you heard that saying that a good lie is half truth? That's Satans handiwork.

I witnessed Satan's work first hand as a child. I heard lies and saw what damage it had on relationships. Saw the deception as people pretended to be good but behind closed doors they were not. As I grew older I saw how people gossiped which to me is the definition of a good lie - a half truth, something someone heard but it's never the full story, always taken out of context. I hate gossip.

Honesty is something I look for in people. It tells me that I can trust them because they are not afraid of the truth. No matter how sad or hurtful it may be, they know a hurtful truth is better than a kind lie. You can build honest real relationships instead of fake ones that crumble at the slightest crack in an image. It means your expectations are realistic and you accept that people are not perfect - that you are not perfect.

But if someone tells a lie, they are deceiving themselves about who they really are. And they can't risk the truth ever coming out because the lie becomes a lifetime of lies, have become stories set in concrete and make up the foundation of their homes, their relationships. It's like building a house on the sand.

I want to always speak the truth because the LORD is the truth. He didn't pretend about anything. When he was in the garden waiting to be arrested he spoke the truth to his Father. He was scared and wanted to be saved from the last steps of his life - painful, horrific final steps.

In my heart I think what really scared my Lord was being separated from his Father, his greatest love. He would be separated from love, he knew what it was to be truly loved. He would be separated from his Father and he would alone. When he was being physically, mentally, and spiritually abused he could not tell his Father to help him, he could not help himself. He had to suffer on, to experience humanity denying all his supernatural power to strike back. It showed who he really was - our Saviour.

Watoto

It’s been a while since I last updated this. I have spent the last few months having baby and adjusting to being a mum.

But Watoto is always in my thoughts. Even more so now that I have my own child. I want the best for him and somewhere in Uganda there are 8 orphans needing my best too.

I look at my son and think how vulnerable he is and how much he needs his parents to just meet his basic needs of comfort, food, and safety. I am blessed enough to not only be able to meet his basic needs but exceed them.

I realise why the LORD’s heart goes out to orphans and widows and why throughout the bible he asks his people to provide for them. It’s because they need protection and are forced to stand alone in this world. And his people are his hands in this world to reach out and meet their needs.

WATOTO - AS A FAMILY WE CAN BUILD A HOME FOR ORPHANS!

HOOORAY we have met our first milestone...we have raised a QUARTER of the target!!

It's been a slow go for a while, but we are getting there...and looking forward to raising a lot more by Christmas.

As my baby grows within me I realise more and more the responsibility of providing a future for our child. This is still my goal and hope for the 8 orphan children and adoptive mother...providing for their future.

We have built a quarter of the house!!

Love Tali

Some links:

• A cover letter about the programme click here
  
• The official website click here

Previous letters from Tali:

• Letter 1 click here
• Letter 2 click here
• Letter 3 click here
  

let me be a shelter

Each man will be like a shelter from the wind and a refuge from the storm...
Isaiah 32:2

My man loves cops and I don't but as I was pottering around in the lounge I caught a bit of it. The police were called to someone's home where two little kids (5 and under) were locked out of the house and crying as they knocked on the door to try to get back in. As it turned out the grandma had drunk herself to sleep and somehow the kids went outside and then couldn't get back in. It upset me big time. To make it worse the little boy, 5 years old, had alcohol on his breath.

I talked to the LORD about it and said to him why couldn't he say to Satan hands off the kids. In the bible when he talks about helping the less fortunate he nearly always talks of orphans and widows. I think it's because they have no one to protect them and they are all alone in the world. Kids born into these lives are used and abused by Satan. It always upsets me that bad things happen to children. I know that they will live the rest of eternity with our God and know such love that their brief time on the planet would be gone in a blink of an eye. But it breaks their loved ones left behind.

I don't think I would be able to cope if anything happened to my son. I can't bear to think of him hurting himself even in little things let alone the horrors that Satan has up his sleeves. I thank the LORD for protecting him and all our little ones. For marking them with blood like the first born of Israel. So no weapon formed against them will prosper.

The LORD has given me a heart for poor stricken children, especially those in Africa. If I could picture myself fulfilling my purpose in life it would be Isaiah 32:2 for little ones who have no one else in the world to help them except the LORD, whose parents have neglected them, who live in poverty and have no idea what it would mean to live a blessed life.

I said to my man I would love to have the police ring me and say those two kids need a home and I would be there in a flash. I would need a home of some kind where there would be other children there too. Myles said like an orphanage, an institute, etc. But I couldn't find a word that would capture the kind of home i would create for them.

The LORD reminded me of my verse. It would be a shelter from the wind, a refuge from a storm. Like Watoto. It would be a place where they would know they were loved and precious, created specially by the the LORD. Where they would feel safe and protected always. Spoilt like I spoil my nieces and nephews. They wouldn't just have their basic needs met but they would have their dreams fulfilled.

This is a huge ask and I have no idea when or where this will be. But I know it's the LORD's doing that my heart weeps for these children. He made me this way and he will use this some way in my life. I wait expectantly on the LORD as he prepares the way.