imperfection

The LORD is not a perfectionist. How do I know that?
We're still here - humanity that is.

Some key biblical heros stuffed up big time (murder, adultery, immorality, lies and deceit, killing christians) and yet the LORD still blessed them. If he was a perfectionist he would have looked elsewhere. He would have picked people with qualifications and proven experience in the areas he wanted them to serve in...that's what the world would do. But instead he picked the poor and the weak to humble the rich and the strong...he's the King of upside down thinking.

My problem is sometimes I expect perfection from him...

• i asked him to save my ovary and to save my ectopic baby. He saved my ovary but not my baby.
• i asked him to save my Dad from cancer and to provide a home with a whole list of requirements for all my family. He gave me the home but took my Dad.
• i asked him to save my husband. He saved my husband but it nearly destroyed my marriage.
• i asked him to provide me with a home with a pool and a backyard for my nieces and nephews to play in, near public transport, safe area for my child to grow up in. He gave me this home but the Landlord sold the house and I may only have six more mths here.
• i asked for my son to be born on my Dad's birthday. His due date was the day after but baby was a week late and it looks like the medical aid who looked after me in recovery was a God appointment for my future.

These imperfections range from big to small and some have rocked my world and others have just made life harder.


I realised then that he didn't care about making things perfect for me or for him. That's not his aim.


If God cared about perfection there would be no evil in the world with just one word from him. When Adam and Eve stuffed up, he could have removed them from the face of the earth and started again...he could have scribbled out earth altogether and drawn up another plan.

So when he 'stuffs up' my requests eg: when my Dad died at 59. He let me rant and rave and be upset with him, myself and the world. He comforted me and let me mourn. Last nite I cried yet again over the loss of my Dad. The LORD let my family experience this loss, feel this pain. Why??

He's not this world's idea of Santa Claus. He has trillions of lives to consider over many generations. So sometimes he will sacrifice my happiness in the short term for eternal purposes.

If he cared about perfect I would not exist. Instead he cares about saving us, about creating a master plan that only he fully understands, because Satan is so cunning that the LORD cannot reveal everything to us. Satan is so evil that it will take only the LORD's master strokes to right all that he has wronged.

I thought of those children who suffer at the hands of evil, of all the sickness and disease in the world that strike even the most innocent of us. These are the things the LORD is trying to put right. These are the things the LORD is trying to save us from. I say trying because we are a part of this master plan and we are all imperfect. If he destroyed evil none of us would exist.

I can't see past the pain that is in front of me but the LORD can...he sees eternity.

So yes I have lossed, yes I feel pain but I have also experienced such blessings that make my heart burst with joy. I just have to look at Caleb. And i know that these blessings only scratch at the surface of what the LORD has planned for us for the rest of eternity. Yet last night I only felt sadness and pain...it made me want to hold Caleb tightly but he was fast asleep. The LORD let me feel this, but he also gave me hope so i could cope...in the form of a 6 week old cutie.