Hey family
we were meant to do a social event this week. So I was thinking why don't we go to Garry beach at the Royal National Park. It's a beautiful long beach with waves and the car park is right next to the beach.
So let's invite EVERYBODY and ANYBODY. Myles and I will will be there early Saturday morning. I know Len's family wanted to go this weekend. It cost $10 for the National Park fee.
After all that our family has been through lately it's probably a good time to have some fun. Weather permitting (please let the weather be awesome, Lord).
What do yo guys think?
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Monday, March 27, 2006
sleepless in sydney
went to COLOUR CONFERENCE Thurs-Sat...it had less pizzaz but just as much kick. Have tons on my brain, tons to process and write and pray about...can't sleep, but not ready to dig yet.
This much I know, the LORD is stripping another layer off the "taliloa" image and replacing it with his truth. I know myself very well, but always the LORD proves how much more he knows me. It's like he never accepts anything even if it's good...he strips it down to the simplest truth.
He gives you gifts, skills, talent, etc, but then he never wants you to rely on these things...because the moment you do...he strips it back down. Our strengths, our weaknesses...are never things he wants us to rely on. He will use them for our good but the moment he thinks these are no longer good...it doesn't matter what it is...he won't hesitate to strip it away.
A caterpillar transforms into a butterfly once, but the LORD keeps transforming us all our lives. I use to think we were being transformed into mature christians...but i'm starting to realise that the LORD's idea of MATURITY is just as different from this world as everything else. I think he's simplifying everything.
At the start of my life I was a child dependant on my parents. At the end of my life I will be a child again dependant on my heavenly Father. That's the LORD's idea of maturity. We start our lives with nothing then we fill it with so much that we need to spend the rest of our lives removing it all.
I was happy with nothing when I took my first breath and I will be happy with nothing when I take my last. I will spend the rest of my life learning what this revelation means. I can't take anything with me to heaven...not my good name, not my deeds, not my gifts or skills or calling, not the blessings, not my sins, my strong body or weak body.
This much I know, the LORD is stripping another layer off the "taliloa" image and replacing it with his truth. I know myself very well, but always the LORD proves how much more he knows me. It's like he never accepts anything even if it's good...he strips it down to the simplest truth.
He gives you gifts, skills, talent, etc, but then he never wants you to rely on these things...because the moment you do...he strips it back down. Our strengths, our weaknesses...are never things he wants us to rely on. He will use them for our good but the moment he thinks these are no longer good...it doesn't matter what it is...he won't hesitate to strip it away.
A caterpillar transforms into a butterfly once, but the LORD keeps transforming us all our lives. I use to think we were being transformed into mature christians...but i'm starting to realise that the LORD's idea of MATURITY is just as different from this world as everything else. I think he's simplifying everything.
At the start of my life I was a child dependant on my parents. At the end of my life I will be a child again dependant on my heavenly Father. That's the LORD's idea of maturity. We start our lives with nothing then we fill it with so much that we need to spend the rest of our lives removing it all.
I was happy with nothing when I took my first breath and I will be happy with nothing when I take my last. I will spend the rest of my life learning what this revelation means. I can't take anything with me to heaven...not my good name, not my deeds, not my gifts or skills or calling, not the blessings, not my sins, my strong body or weak body.
I just take my spirit. From what I have learnt this year...
I think I have overpacked.
Thursday, March 23, 2006
ditz moments #2
Talk about ditz moments..im having a big ditz homer day today.
First at work, i get in the lift filled with a whole bunch of guys and students, i basically run into one of the girls and push her onto some other guy behind her, i get to my floor and i basically fall out of the lift, kick the floor infront of me and almost fall flat on my face, (the lift was still open)
i walk to the glass door, but somehow had a mental block and i forgot which one opens so i pushed the wrong one and crashed into it instead.
couldnt sign my name in at reception, coz i didnt know who i was meeting, until i was kindly reminded by the receptionist....hellloooooooooooooooooooo!!!
as Tali would say "Whadddd are ya??"
I finish the meeting, get up off my chair and kicked the table while i was at it,bent down to hold my knee and some poor guy walked into me from the back and created a nice awkward but very funny moment for everyone there.....not a good look!!
keep leaving stuff everywhere like my phone in the cubicle of the toilet, and then went looking for it in the wrong places!!!
its taken me forever to write this email because not only am i having a homer day, im also suffering from a severe case of dyslexia and my initial entry looked like a jumbled word puzzle..
well, i also did a whole bunch of other stuff but that was the biggest ditz moment for me....but i know why im having a homer day and it requires no sympathy :p
so im excited about COLOUR conference tonight...WHooooohoooooooo!!!
the Lords timming is good....perfect in all forms...i need to worship him in a filled, praising, loud and out there environment and tonight i get my need met!!!
First at work, i get in the lift filled with a whole bunch of guys and students, i basically run into one of the girls and push her onto some other guy behind her, i get to my floor and i basically fall out of the lift, kick the floor infront of me and almost fall flat on my face, (the lift was still open)
i walk to the glass door, but somehow had a mental block and i forgot which one opens so i pushed the wrong one and crashed into it instead.
couldnt sign my name in at reception, coz i didnt know who i was meeting, until i was kindly reminded by the receptionist....hellloooooooooooooooooooo!!!
as Tali would say "Whadddd are ya??"
I finish the meeting, get up off my chair and kicked the table while i was at it,bent down to hold my knee and some poor guy walked into me from the back and created a nice awkward but very funny moment for everyone there.....not a good look!!
keep leaving stuff everywhere like my phone in the cubicle of the toilet, and then went looking for it in the wrong places!!!
its taken me forever to write this email because not only am i having a homer day, im also suffering from a severe case of dyslexia and my initial entry looked like a jumbled word puzzle..
well, i also did a whole bunch of other stuff but that was the biggest ditz moment for me....but i know why im having a homer day and it requires no sympathy :p
so im excited about COLOUR conference tonight...WHooooohoooooooo!!!
the Lords timming is good....perfect in all forms...i need to worship him in a filled, praising, loud and out there environment and tonight i get my need met!!!
caffeine withdrawal...
i'm having one of those days where you shouldn't cross the road by yourself....or pick up sharp objects....cos you're losing the plot and chances are you will be hit by a car or cut yourself.
it's actually two of those days...because yesterday is continuing on to today!
I blame it on the lack of caffeine in my system. I have stopped drinking coffee, tea and cola drinks because of IVF. Will wait till I find out if i'm preggy or not in two weeks...now look at me....my brain has disconnected from my body which is doing it's own thing.
Yesterday I decided to bake banana cakes...that's not the dizzy bit...i had lots of ripe bananas. Doubled my first mixture. All good... 1 hour lata it was still cooking....i'm like: it normally doesnt take this long....helllooo. Then i clicked....I doubled only half the ingredients...so it didn't have enough eggs, baking powder, baking soda...i wondered why it looked a bit dry when i was mixing it...so instead of thinking about it i just added some milk. 2 hours lata the cake cooked.
So not one to give up easily I made the next cake....i boiled some milk on the oven because our microwave blew up...that's not the dizzy bit either...i burnt it. Cooked cake...i nearly burnt it. I cooked dinner....i burnt the meat. By this stage I was just cracking up laughing. D'OoH!
This morning i text my cousin to tell her some news ...she normally texts back immediately...15 mins went past....i got all paranoid thinking...did i upset her....so i text her again saying sorry...she texts me back straight away...saying you must have texted someone else cos I don't understand...D'OoH!! Another Homer moment.
I had to ring her to explain, we had a good laugh over it...so who did i send those texts too??? Probably my man. Roll on next two weeks so I can have a cup of tea!
it's actually two of those days...because yesterday is continuing on to today!
I blame it on the lack of caffeine in my system. I have stopped drinking coffee, tea and cola drinks because of IVF. Will wait till I find out if i'm preggy or not in two weeks...now look at me....my brain has disconnected from my body which is doing it's own thing.
Yesterday I decided to bake banana cakes...that's not the dizzy bit...i had lots of ripe bananas. Doubled my first mixture. All good... 1 hour lata it was still cooking....i'm like: it normally doesnt take this long....helllooo. Then i clicked....I doubled only half the ingredients...so it didn't have enough eggs, baking powder, baking soda...i wondered why it looked a bit dry when i was mixing it...so instead of thinking about it i just added some milk. 2 hours lata the cake cooked.
So not one to give up easily I made the next cake....i boiled some milk on the oven because our microwave blew up...that's not the dizzy bit either...i burnt it. Cooked cake...i nearly burnt it. I cooked dinner....i burnt the meat. By this stage I was just cracking up laughing. D'OoH!
This morning i text my cousin to tell her some news ...she normally texts back immediately...15 mins went past....i got all paranoid thinking...did i upset her....so i text her again saying sorry...she texts me back straight away...saying you must have texted someone else cos I don't understand...D'OoH!! Another Homer moment.
I had to ring her to explain, we had a good laugh over it...so who did i send those texts too??? Probably my man. Roll on next two weeks so I can have a cup of tea!
Why I believe in God #3
So I was on the train this morning, just thinking, and this popped into my head:
If I cut you, you bleed. But also your skin heals itself. If there is no God, when in the evolution process did this start to happen? Early enough for it to be shared consistently across many different species (human, cat, bird etc).
IMHO, this just too complex a design to have happened naturally!
If I cut you, you bleed. But also your skin heals itself. If there is no God, when in the evolution process did this start to happen? Early enough for it to be shared consistently across many different species (human, cat, bird etc).
IMHO, this just too complex a design to have happened naturally!
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
isaiah 61 my mission part 2
NIV...
The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn
New Living Translation...
To all who mourn in Israel, he will give beauty for ashes, joy instead of mourning, praise instead of despair. For the LORD has planted them like strong and graceful oaks for his own glory....
NIV...
.....instead of their shame my people will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace they will rejoice in their inheritance; and so they will inherit a double portion in their land, and everlasting joy will be theirs.
"For I, the LORD, love justice; I hate robbery and iniquity. In my faithfulness I will reward them and make an everlasting covenant with them.
Their descendants will be known among the nations and their offspring among the peoples. All who see them will acknowledge that they are a people the LORD has blessed."
I delight greatly in the LORD; my soul rejoices in my God. For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.
For as the soil makes the sprout come up and a garden causes seeds to grow, so the Sovereign LORD will make righteousness and praise spring up before all nations.
I've shorten Isaiah 61 but it's all good stuff. It's a very full on chapter. Very challenging for me. It shows the LORD's heart for those he loves and his passion for what matters to him. I know it matters to him because Jesus quoted this in front of his people. It was his mission, his purpose...
Luke 4:18-19
Imagine if I could make someone feel like they are living and experiencing the LORD's favour...then they would know how much the LORD loves them.
The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn
New Living Translation...
To all who mourn in Israel, he will give beauty for ashes, joy instead of mourning, praise instead of despair. For the LORD has planted them like strong and graceful oaks for his own glory....
NIV...
.....instead of their shame my people will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace they will rejoice in their inheritance; and so they will inherit a double portion in their land, and everlasting joy will be theirs.
"For I, the LORD, love justice; I hate robbery and iniquity. In my faithfulness I will reward them and make an everlasting covenant with them.
Their descendants will be known among the nations and their offspring among the peoples. All who see them will acknowledge that they are a people the LORD has blessed."
I delight greatly in the LORD; my soul rejoices in my God. For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.
For as the soil makes the sprout come up and a garden causes seeds to grow, so the Sovereign LORD will make righteousness and praise spring up before all nations.
I've shorten Isaiah 61 but it's all good stuff. It's a very full on chapter. Very challenging for me. It shows the LORD's heart for those he loves and his passion for what matters to him. I know it matters to him because Jesus quoted this in front of his people. It was his mission, his purpose...
Luke 4:18-19
"The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor.".....
"Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing."
Imagine if I could make someone feel like they are living and experiencing the LORD's favour...then they would know how much the LORD loves them.
family
i despair sometimes at family relationships. I sometimes wish we had family relationships like Myles where there is very little drama and everyone gets along...
why does this happen to us? why do families who supposedly love each other heaps, have a strong sense of family, have so many dramas that affect everyone??
I don't think my family have heard of solving the problem the direct way. My family seem to be the opposite. If there is a problem speak to everyone EXCEPT the person involved. If there is no solution than hold on to it and hold on to it until it's this huge whirlwind of a cyclone sweeping up everything in it's wake and no one is left untouched in some way.
Thank goodness for the LORD who gives us the victory thru our Lord Jesus Christ.
Lord
I am grateful that you're in control of our lives. We are a family of strong personalities which conflict with each other but we are still here. We still realise that our family is who we are and losing our family is losing a part of us that no one can replace. You made family ties to be something your body of believers would become like. Family is important to you and we are your children. You gave each of us that desire to be a part of a family.
Please protect our family relationships Lord. Help us to restore broken relationships. Help us to forgive each other because unforgiveness hinders our prayers.
You love us and have forgiven us for so much...so what right do we have to hold unforgiveness against someone we love? Do we want them to suffer? Do we want them to pay for what they have done and said against us? Do we want everyone to think badly of them?
Or do we want to be like you? You took the punches with the praise. The blessings with the abuse. You were misunderstood, unloved, by people who you poured blessings on. We haven't done anything so great as sacrifice our lives for an underserving people.
Is what you ask of us so hard LORD? So impossible? Am I incapable of forgiving those who hurt me who do not accept me for who I am? Am I LORD??
No, I am not. It's not so hard for me. I know how much you have forgiven me for, I know how much you have set me free from. I know what it means to be loved by my Creator. I know the joy of my salvation - not just the first day I chose you, but every single day since then that you have saved me again and again.
Who am I to judge someone else? Who am I to be a stumbling block in their life? Forgive us LORD, for our stubborness and pride.
We need you so much, LORD. We need that awesome amazing GRACE of yours which takes away our works, our efforts, even if they are good and REPLACES it with your BEST. It pours your mercy on us.
What is it you ask of us LORD? To love you and to love others.
Help me to do this LORD even when i'm stuck in a cyclone and it seems impossible to get out. You have never failed me LORD. You have always provided a way. Your truth always comes to the light.
In the name of your son and my Saviour, Iesu, I ask for your protection over my family. Thank you, Lord for hearing our prayers, for answering us with your perfect timing.
Monday, March 20, 2006
God of our breakthrough
Like the bursting forth of waters is what Chronicles described the breakthrough of God!
1 Chronicles 14:11
Imagine that for just a minute, water gushing through and through, unstoppable, uncontainable, out of control like a dam that has just openned up...now imagine that water covering the earth!
The breakthrough of the Lord covering the earth.
The dam remains closed because people do not pray enough to push that dam down.The Lords breakthrough is being kept behind a wall because his people do not persist in prayer, in interceeding, in passionately pursuing his kingdom first!
I am one of those people.With his pleasure deeply rooted within my heart, i still find things to hider my focus on his purpose. I start to look to the left and to the right and worry about the looks of my situation. I forget to stop everything and rest in his presence!I start to see mysefl as this world sees me, imperfect, crap, hopeless and weak.
It has dawned on me that i dont pray enough at all for my loved ones and for my breakthrough.I pray with such desperation and passion when i do, yet i am inconsistent and i sometimes have this insane thought running round in my head "the Lord knows what my heart desires, so its all good" for a long time i was caught up in the surrenderring to the Lord and leaving it there without much persistence.
The Lord says in Isaiah "do not let me rest until I have restored Israel" so i rememeber the surrender but forget to remind him. I neglect persistence, consistency, habitual prayer!!
With all th crap going on in my family, i ought to starighten up and kick this devil out in a whisper, yet i tend to neglect my most important contribution to one persons salvation..
PRAYER, PRAYER, PRAYER!!!!!!!
when crap finds me, i sit and ask the Lord "why does this not go away Lord?" and his answer to me, after much questioning and prayer time??
"You are not taking authority over it" taking authority is not waiting for trouble to hit, its standing against it so it will not hit.
I allow it to creep in when im not looking, i allow it to creep in when im too busy, too tired, too relaxed, too worried, too anxious...and it was revealed to me that as a servant of the most high God, i must be awake at ALL times. (not literally as i would prefer)
our God is a God of the ALL concept, not the sometimes, most times, some people, most people..its either ALL or NOTHING with our God!!!
I must pray at ALL times!!! Keep guard for the devil lurks around like a hungry lion ready to devour anyone...so why do i cry out to the Lord when conflict occurs in my life? when my loved ones seem far away when i expect them to be closer to him by now...
i see a thunderstorm upon us...and for a second i worry and freeze in fear of what is coming....but the Lord is a loving God, instead of letting me dwell in my troubles he lifts me up, reminds me of what i am to do about this thunderstorm.The fact that I can see it, is his way of preparing me for what is to come.
Like Ester "I was born for a day such as this"
The scriptures he has been giving me is all about interceeding, praying fervently and never giving up on the promises of the Lord!
The fact is i just want to throw in the towel and say "youre on your own, im out" but the truth is
the Lord will never leave me nor forsake me,he has told me repeatedly to be strong be courageous for the battle belongs to the HIM.
The truth is, I am, ..and YOU are destined to overcome, to push through, to walk on water, to move mountains, to speak to Satan and have him tremble at your feet!! Thats a God promise.
"For i saw satan fall like lightning from heaven, BEHOLD..I have given you the authority to trample of snakes and scorpions, to overcome ALL the power of the enemy, NOTHING shall harm you" (luke 10:18)
Note : ALL and NOTHING - he didnt say somethings or most things!
Thats the TRUTH!! WE have the authority to cast down conflicts, thurderstorms, confusion, hurt and betrayal. and all sorts of attacks...we cant just sit and look at it, talk about it and sleep on it...we need to stand up against it and push Satan out, by filling our minds and hearts and mouths with the TRUTH of God..why?
because heres another truth "Today Salvation has come to this house, because this man too is a son of Abraham.For the Son fo Man came to seek and to save what was lost"(Luke 19:9)
Our prayers are crucial to the salvation of our loved ones, and i for one have to remember this at ALL times.My persistence will see my breakthrough, my consistency will make a way in the darkness, my faithfulness will light the world I live in and therein fulfil my purpose in life"
I thank the Lord for his patience in dealing with me and i give him all the Glory that, he is not contemplating nor ever contemplated giving up on me as i have on him!!
Giving up on him meant giving up on the world i have a passionate desire to save, the world he gave his only son for and that is a much bigger sacrifice for him...who is he going to send?
Thank you Lord...thank you for loving this sinner, thank you for renewing your tender mercys for me every morning and making me stand on your truth!!
Thank you for YOU ARE THE GOD OF MY BREAKTHROUGH!!
1 Chronicles 14:11
Imagine that for just a minute, water gushing through and through, unstoppable, uncontainable, out of control like a dam that has just openned up...now imagine that water covering the earth!
The breakthrough of the Lord covering the earth.
The dam remains closed because people do not pray enough to push that dam down.The Lords breakthrough is being kept behind a wall because his people do not persist in prayer, in interceeding, in passionately pursuing his kingdom first!
I am one of those people.With his pleasure deeply rooted within my heart, i still find things to hider my focus on his purpose. I start to look to the left and to the right and worry about the looks of my situation. I forget to stop everything and rest in his presence!I start to see mysefl as this world sees me, imperfect, crap, hopeless and weak.
It has dawned on me that i dont pray enough at all for my loved ones and for my breakthrough.I pray with such desperation and passion when i do, yet i am inconsistent and i sometimes have this insane thought running round in my head "the Lord knows what my heart desires, so its all good" for a long time i was caught up in the surrenderring to the Lord and leaving it there without much persistence.
The Lord says in Isaiah "do not let me rest until I have restored Israel" so i rememeber the surrender but forget to remind him. I neglect persistence, consistency, habitual prayer!!
With all th crap going on in my family, i ought to starighten up and kick this devil out in a whisper, yet i tend to neglect my most important contribution to one persons salvation..
PRAYER, PRAYER, PRAYER!!!!!!!
when crap finds me, i sit and ask the Lord "why does this not go away Lord?" and his answer to me, after much questioning and prayer time??
"You are not taking authority over it" taking authority is not waiting for trouble to hit, its standing against it so it will not hit.
I allow it to creep in when im not looking, i allow it to creep in when im too busy, too tired, too relaxed, too worried, too anxious...and it was revealed to me that as a servant of the most high God, i must be awake at ALL times. (not literally as i would prefer)
our God is a God of the ALL concept, not the sometimes, most times, some people, most people..its either ALL or NOTHING with our God!!!
I must pray at ALL times!!! Keep guard for the devil lurks around like a hungry lion ready to devour anyone...so why do i cry out to the Lord when conflict occurs in my life? when my loved ones seem far away when i expect them to be closer to him by now...
i see a thunderstorm upon us...and for a second i worry and freeze in fear of what is coming....but the Lord is a loving God, instead of letting me dwell in my troubles he lifts me up, reminds me of what i am to do about this thunderstorm.The fact that I can see it, is his way of preparing me for what is to come.
Like Ester "I was born for a day such as this"
The scriptures he has been giving me is all about interceeding, praying fervently and never giving up on the promises of the Lord!
The fact is i just want to throw in the towel and say "youre on your own, im out" but the truth is
the Lord will never leave me nor forsake me,he has told me repeatedly to be strong be courageous for the battle belongs to the HIM.
The truth is, I am, ..and YOU are destined to overcome, to push through, to walk on water, to move mountains, to speak to Satan and have him tremble at your feet!! Thats a God promise.
"For i saw satan fall like lightning from heaven, BEHOLD..I have given you the authority to trample of snakes and scorpions, to overcome ALL the power of the enemy, NOTHING shall harm you" (luke 10:18)
Note : ALL and NOTHING - he didnt say somethings or most things!
Thats the TRUTH!! WE have the authority to cast down conflicts, thurderstorms, confusion, hurt and betrayal. and all sorts of attacks...we cant just sit and look at it, talk about it and sleep on it...we need to stand up against it and push Satan out, by filling our minds and hearts and mouths with the TRUTH of God..why?
because heres another truth "Today Salvation has come to this house, because this man too is a son of Abraham.For the Son fo Man came to seek and to save what was lost"(Luke 19:9)
Our prayers are crucial to the salvation of our loved ones, and i for one have to remember this at ALL times.My persistence will see my breakthrough, my consistency will make a way in the darkness, my faithfulness will light the world I live in and therein fulfil my purpose in life"
I thank the Lord for his patience in dealing with me and i give him all the Glory that, he is not contemplating nor ever contemplated giving up on me as i have on him!!
Giving up on him meant giving up on the world i have a passionate desire to save, the world he gave his only son for and that is a much bigger sacrifice for him...who is he going to send?
Thank you Lord...thank you for loving this sinner, thank you for renewing your tender mercys for me every morning and making me stand on your truth!!
Thank you for YOU ARE THE GOD OF MY BREAKTHROUGH!!
Sunday, March 19, 2006
battlefield of the mind
Yesterday, Satan had a field day with my mind. Talk about planting weeds when the LORD has been watering our seed!! I had lots of negative thoughts about myself and myles and generally had a stressful day.
I should have remembered that when I'm under attack that I have to fight with my greatest weapons - prayer, praise, and the word. I didn't realise how stressed I was feeling. I just needed to calm down and put everything aside until it passed over.
It was like I forgot who I was and tried to talk my way out of it and just keep going normally. Instead of doing what I know works for me. Being quiet and letting the LORD talk to me.
I finally clicked and I realised I needed to take time out and hang with the LORD all by myself. So I snapped out of my Homer Simpson moment...D'OH!!
And had a Taliloa moment....HEEEELLLOOOO...this battle belongs to the LORD and he's in complete control of my life!! What are ya!!!
So spent last nite and this morning by myself and my weapons: prayer, praise and the word. These work for me because it put's my world into perspective and I remember who EXACTLY is on my side, and everything suddenly seems insignificant compared to him...the Creator of life, my LORD and King, my Saviour...the LION and the LAMB.
Nothing compares to him and he loves me...little old me...but not only does he love me but he loves me just as I am...he knows all my days...how much i'm going to stuff up...and yet he still loves me. It sets me FREE, I don't have to conform to anyone's image...I can just be me.
He didn't sacrifice himself for some perfect creation worthy of keeping for all eternity. He sacrificed himself for a sinner, someone who always makes mistakes, who is imperfect at loving and being loved, he died on that cross to save me...and all my other imperfect brothers and sisters around the world, in every generation.
He covers me with his love, his strength, his peace, his joy...everything I need...and I am more than a conqueror in him.
I should have remembered that when I'm under attack that I have to fight with my greatest weapons - prayer, praise, and the word. I didn't realise how stressed I was feeling. I just needed to calm down and put everything aside until it passed over.
It was like I forgot who I was and tried to talk my way out of it and just keep going normally. Instead of doing what I know works for me. Being quiet and letting the LORD talk to me.
I finally clicked and I realised I needed to take time out and hang with the LORD all by myself. So I snapped out of my Homer Simpson moment...D'OH!!
And had a Taliloa moment....HEEEELLLOOOO...this battle belongs to the LORD and he's in complete control of my life!! What are ya!!!
So spent last nite and this morning by myself and my weapons: prayer, praise and the word. These work for me because it put's my world into perspective and I remember who EXACTLY is on my side, and everything suddenly seems insignificant compared to him...the Creator of life, my LORD and King, my Saviour...the LION and the LAMB.
Nothing compares to him and he loves me...little old me...but not only does he love me but he loves me just as I am...he knows all my days...how much i'm going to stuff up...and yet he still loves me. It sets me FREE, I don't have to conform to anyone's image...I can just be me.
He didn't sacrifice himself for some perfect creation worthy of keeping for all eternity. He sacrificed himself for a sinner, someone who always makes mistakes, who is imperfect at loving and being loved, he died on that cross to save me...and all my other imperfect brothers and sisters around the world, in every generation.
He covers me with his love, his strength, his peace, his joy...everything I need...and I am more than a conqueror in him.
Friday, March 17, 2006
baby dream - IVF continues
Lord
Thank you for your grace and mercy which covers us and our dream. Today's operation went well and they managed to collect 17 eggs. That's your awesome planning.
They normally retrieve 6-12 eggs but you gave me more than enough. I am fine, apart from being tired and I little sore from the operation.
There was another woman there - she said she has been feeling pain for the last couple of days and today they only collected 6 eggs. I pray for her LORD. May she know your blessings like I do and receive your unmerited favour as I have.
I didn't want to seem too excited around her because I have felt no pain and I had so many more eggs. Lord, I have no idea who she is, but you know her, help her LORD, to know you and to experience your protection as I have.
Help us this weekend LORD to watch our steps so nothing puts our dream at risk. Let me hide in the shadow of your wings so that Monday when we take the 2nd step life will grow within me.
I'm having my niece and nephew over so help them to understand that I can't play with them as much as I would like, and I can't swim with them either. Give Myles and Rob the patience they need to help each other look after the kids.
You are my God and my life is in your hands. You have never failed me Lord, never forsaken me, never given up on me. Your loving hand has guided me all my sinful days. You have used everything in my life for my good. I thank you for your unfailing love and faithfulness.
your beloved daughter
Thank you for your grace and mercy which covers us and our dream. Today's operation went well and they managed to collect 17 eggs. That's your awesome planning.
They normally retrieve 6-12 eggs but you gave me more than enough. I am fine, apart from being tired and I little sore from the operation.
There was another woman there - she said she has been feeling pain for the last couple of days and today they only collected 6 eggs. I pray for her LORD. May she know your blessings like I do and receive your unmerited favour as I have.
I didn't want to seem too excited around her because I have felt no pain and I had so many more eggs. Lord, I have no idea who she is, but you know her, help her LORD, to know you and to experience your protection as I have.
Help us this weekend LORD to watch our steps so nothing puts our dream at risk. Let me hide in the shadow of your wings so that Monday when we take the 2nd step life will grow within me.
I'm having my niece and nephew over so help them to understand that I can't play with them as much as I would like, and I can't swim with them either. Give Myles and Rob the patience they need to help each other look after the kids.
You are my God and my life is in your hands. You have never failed me Lord, never forsaken me, never given up on me. Your loving hand has guided me all my sinful days. You have used everything in my life for my good. I thank you for your unfailing love and faithfulness.
your beloved daughter
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
protecting our seed
Lord
thank you for the awesome word you gave us via George. It was a word in time for us LORD. I never think to ask you to protect the seeds you have planted in my life. I normally just lift them up to you and I leave them in your hands. But it never occurs to me that like that scripture about how the farmer planted seeds and then the enemy came and sowed weeds amongst them that this is also like the dreams, visions, calling, gifts that you give each of us.
Satan will do anything for us not to fulfil the plans you have for us. He wants to kill these seeds because it will stop us from being all that we can be. To live the dreams you have given each of us. You made us to be so unique that the dreams we have for our own lives are seeds you sowed in us while we were in our mothers' wombs.
And as we have grown so have these seeds in us. But over the years, we start to doubt we can do these things, we start to think these dreams are too big and we don't have the skills we need to fulfil them, or we have left it too late. These are the seeds that Satan has planted in our lives right next to our dreams, our gifts, our visions. Seeds of doubt, seeds of disbelief as he tries to strip away our self-confidence.
But you LORD are faithful and you use these weaknesses in us to strengthen us. You replace our self-confidence with confidence IN YOU. You show us that NOT by our might or strength but by your spirit we will succeed. If we could do it by our own strength you would not receive the glory...we would thank you but we would still rely on our own talents and gifts instead of you.
You have planted in me some impossible dreams LORD and lots of them I have abandoned because I didn't know I had to protect them. I protected and watered lots of other seeds, but not really my dreams.
One of these dreams LORD is to have children. When i was young I thought i had all the time in the world. I had a regular cycle, never experience period pains, I had a healthy body. But I'm now nearly 38 yrs old. I don't feel it. But in the last 5 years Satan has tried to destroy this dream. He tried to make me give up on the idea of having a child, he even succeeded in stealing a child from me. But I'm still here and I am still trying.
So it hasn't happened as I planned it. You LORD have rescued me. Even now as we try IVF he tried to sow another seed to make it harder. But you LORD have rescued me. He knows that I plan to fill my children with love for you LORD. To leave a legacy of your unfailing love for the next generation, so that they will know you live. This is the seed which he is trying to steal, to rob you of receiving all the glory.
LORD, I am a fob from a tiny Pacific island. I dreamt that I would travel, and I have. I dreamt of visiting a little castle in Germany and I did. I dreamt of visiting Paris and I did. I dreamt of going to Jerusalem and I did. I dreamt of going to Africa and seeing lions and elephants and I did. But it didn't go according to my plan but according to yours LORD.
Imagine if I had given up? We went to London with hardly any money to support us. We ran out before we could collect our pay cheques, but you rescued us again. It makes the dream more impossible when it doesn't happen easily. You love doing the impossible LORD and we your children are amazed each time you succeed.
I have a few big dreams LORD some from when I was a child that I have not given up on. I realise now that these need protecting. I lift them up to you LORD and I give you the glory. These dreams can only happen by your spirit LORD. I can't make them happen, but I can wait patiently for you to show me how to water this seed so it will grow.
Lord Jesus, I cast out Satan's handiwork in our lives in your mighty name. I cast out his plans to destroy the seeds you have planted in each of us. I will put my trust in you and not lean on my own understanding and in all my ways (good and bad) I will acknowledge you and like your word says you will make my paths straight. I believe that greater are you Lord who lives in me than he who lives in this world. I pray for your protection over our dreams, gifts, talents, callings and visions and look forward to your many rescue plans for us LORD.
I believe in you Lord and the power of your name, Lord Jesus, which is above all names. By your resurrection you set us free from the bondages and strong holds that Satan is trying desperately to build in our lives. I break off his seeds of destruction from our midst, in your name LORD Jesus.
You said in Revelation LORD that we overcome by our testimony and by your blood which you sacrificed on that horrid cross for us. You are the LION and the LAMB Lord. Thank you LORD for you have proven time and time again that you are in complete control of our lives. That you will use ALL things (good and bad) for the good of those who love you, who have been called according to your purpose.
We have no idea what's around the corner LORD, but we know you and you know all our days LORD. Help us to perserve LORD, when Satan tries to close the door in our faces, help us to see the window that you have provided for us and to go thru it. To make the most of all the opportunities you have given us, even if it seems harder, even if it takes longer than our original plan. To trust that you will provide a way to make these seeds grow, to step out in faith and believe in the impossible.
Not by might or power but by your spirit. In Jesus' name I pray.
thank you for the awesome word you gave us via George. It was a word in time for us LORD. I never think to ask you to protect the seeds you have planted in my life. I normally just lift them up to you and I leave them in your hands. But it never occurs to me that like that scripture about how the farmer planted seeds and then the enemy came and sowed weeds amongst them that this is also like the dreams, visions, calling, gifts that you give each of us.
Satan will do anything for us not to fulfil the plans you have for us. He wants to kill these seeds because it will stop us from being all that we can be. To live the dreams you have given each of us. You made us to be so unique that the dreams we have for our own lives are seeds you sowed in us while we were in our mothers' wombs.
And as we have grown so have these seeds in us. But over the years, we start to doubt we can do these things, we start to think these dreams are too big and we don't have the skills we need to fulfil them, or we have left it too late. These are the seeds that Satan has planted in our lives right next to our dreams, our gifts, our visions. Seeds of doubt, seeds of disbelief as he tries to strip away our self-confidence.
But you LORD are faithful and you use these weaknesses in us to strengthen us. You replace our self-confidence with confidence IN YOU. You show us that NOT by our might or strength but by your spirit we will succeed. If we could do it by our own strength you would not receive the glory...we would thank you but we would still rely on our own talents and gifts instead of you.
You have planted in me some impossible dreams LORD and lots of them I have abandoned because I didn't know I had to protect them. I protected and watered lots of other seeds, but not really my dreams.
One of these dreams LORD is to have children. When i was young I thought i had all the time in the world. I had a regular cycle, never experience period pains, I had a healthy body. But I'm now nearly 38 yrs old. I don't feel it. But in the last 5 years Satan has tried to destroy this dream. He tried to make me give up on the idea of having a child, he even succeeded in stealing a child from me. But I'm still here and I am still trying.
So it hasn't happened as I planned it. You LORD have rescued me. Even now as we try IVF he tried to sow another seed to make it harder. But you LORD have rescued me. He knows that I plan to fill my children with love for you LORD. To leave a legacy of your unfailing love for the next generation, so that they will know you live. This is the seed which he is trying to steal, to rob you of receiving all the glory.
LORD, I am a fob from a tiny Pacific island. I dreamt that I would travel, and I have. I dreamt of visiting a little castle in Germany and I did. I dreamt of visiting Paris and I did. I dreamt of going to Jerusalem and I did. I dreamt of going to Africa and seeing lions and elephants and I did. But it didn't go according to my plan but according to yours LORD.
Imagine if I had given up? We went to London with hardly any money to support us. We ran out before we could collect our pay cheques, but you rescued us again. It makes the dream more impossible when it doesn't happen easily. You love doing the impossible LORD and we your children are amazed each time you succeed.
I have a few big dreams LORD some from when I was a child that I have not given up on. I realise now that these need protecting. I lift them up to you LORD and I give you the glory. These dreams can only happen by your spirit LORD. I can't make them happen, but I can wait patiently for you to show me how to water this seed so it will grow.
Lord Jesus, I cast out Satan's handiwork in our lives in your mighty name. I cast out his plans to destroy the seeds you have planted in each of us. I will put my trust in you and not lean on my own understanding and in all my ways (good and bad) I will acknowledge you and like your word says you will make my paths straight. I believe that greater are you Lord who lives in me than he who lives in this world. I pray for your protection over our dreams, gifts, talents, callings and visions and look forward to your many rescue plans for us LORD.
I believe in you Lord and the power of your name, Lord Jesus, which is above all names. By your resurrection you set us free from the bondages and strong holds that Satan is trying desperately to build in our lives. I break off his seeds of destruction from our midst, in your name LORD Jesus.
You said in Revelation LORD that we overcome by our testimony and by your blood which you sacrificed on that horrid cross for us. You are the LION and the LAMB Lord. Thank you LORD for you have proven time and time again that you are in complete control of our lives. That you will use ALL things (good and bad) for the good of those who love you, who have been called according to your purpose.
We have no idea what's around the corner LORD, but we know you and you know all our days LORD. Help us to perserve LORD, when Satan tries to close the door in our faces, help us to see the window that you have provided for us and to go thru it. To make the most of all the opportunities you have given us, even if it seems harder, even if it takes longer than our original plan. To trust that you will provide a way to make these seeds grow, to step out in faith and believe in the impossible.
Not by might or power but by your spirit. In Jesus' name I pray.
two biggest stresses in my life contd
I wrote a post Feb 20 about the two biggest stresses in my life and I realised it was my man and family.
Feb 21st I had a hugely stressful day because of one of these - FAMILY. Since then I have been on a roller coaster ride as Satan has thrown everything at me to prove that FAMILY does stress me out and there's nothing I can do about it.
I don't think I've ever had a more stressful time about family than this. It felt like it was completely out of my control. I wasn't even involved. I was being talked about but nobody would say anything to my face. I was being isolated because bad reports about me were being circulated and made to not feel welcome where previously I was always welcome.
So my 1st strategy was to carry on as normal. Treat everyone as I normally would and pray that the LORD would help them to remember that I am not the kind of person who would hurt those I love...I don't even hurt those I don't love. I didn't visit those concerned because I wasn't welcome and I knew they needed time.
But it kept getting bigger. More people were involved and my character was thrown in the mud. I was being accused of things I didn't even do but not to my face. Nobody wanted to speak to me. Then my Mum became involved. That was the final straw.
I am grateful that my Mum who knows and loves me defended me. She of all people knows how much I hate gossip, how much I hate people talking about people and not talking to the person concerned, about people judging people based on what other people say instead of hearing the full story. I try very hard not to repeat stories which make someone else look bad. If I am asked I will tell the truth but I will try to say the least possible.
If I have a problem with someone, I don't involve the whole family, I go straight to that person and tell them. I always thought that was a good strategy. But what if that person doesn't even want to say hello to you, doesn't even want you in their house? I found out that strategy sux.
If my Mum asks me how somebody is doing...I don't say well actually they are behaving like crap and they did this and this and this...I tell her I haven't seen them lately or I don't know. I don't want her to think badly of that person or be angry with that person.
Even now I hear people say things which makes it seem like I did something wrong - I still don't tell them the full story. I still hold back from sticking up for myself because I don't want to put someone else in a bad light. I am beginning to think this is a bad strategy.
Apart from my man who knows everything and zella who knows most things. Having this group has taught me to share more. Now I can actually talk about my man to other people, but that's because I know they will accept him for who he is. If I thought they would hold it against him I wouldn't tell them anything negative about him. I would rather they only know his good side.
I learnt some hard lessons and I had one key strategy confirmed as successful:
hard lessons:
Feb 21st I had a hugely stressful day because of one of these - FAMILY. Since then I have been on a roller coaster ride as Satan has thrown everything at me to prove that FAMILY does stress me out and there's nothing I can do about it.
I don't think I've ever had a more stressful time about family than this. It felt like it was completely out of my control. I wasn't even involved. I was being talked about but nobody would say anything to my face. I was being isolated because bad reports about me were being circulated and made to not feel welcome where previously I was always welcome.
So my 1st strategy was to carry on as normal. Treat everyone as I normally would and pray that the LORD would help them to remember that I am not the kind of person who would hurt those I love...I don't even hurt those I don't love. I didn't visit those concerned because I wasn't welcome and I knew they needed time.
But it kept getting bigger. More people were involved and my character was thrown in the mud. I was being accused of things I didn't even do but not to my face. Nobody wanted to speak to me. Then my Mum became involved. That was the final straw.
I am grateful that my Mum who knows and loves me defended me. She of all people knows how much I hate gossip, how much I hate people talking about people and not talking to the person concerned, about people judging people based on what other people say instead of hearing the full story. I try very hard not to repeat stories which make someone else look bad. If I am asked I will tell the truth but I will try to say the least possible.
If I have a problem with someone, I don't involve the whole family, I go straight to that person and tell them. I always thought that was a good strategy. But what if that person doesn't even want to say hello to you, doesn't even want you in their house? I found out that strategy sux.
If my Mum asks me how somebody is doing...I don't say well actually they are behaving like crap and they did this and this and this...I tell her I haven't seen them lately or I don't know. I don't want her to think badly of that person or be angry with that person.
Even now I hear people say things which makes it seem like I did something wrong - I still don't tell them the full story. I still hold back from sticking up for myself because I don't want to put someone else in a bad light. I am beginning to think this is a bad strategy.
Apart from my man who knows everything and zella who knows most things. Having this group has taught me to share more. Now I can actually talk about my man to other people, but that's because I know they will accept him for who he is. If I thought they would hold it against him I wouldn't tell them anything negative about him. I would rather they only know his good side.
I learnt some hard lessons and I had one key strategy confirmed as successful:
hard lessons:
- people don't care how much of a blessing you have been in their lives or remember how you supported and loved them when they are hurt.
- people will circulate bad things about you and leave out the good things.
- i have to explain myself more to those i love because they don't think like me and so they will misunderstand everything I do. People will misintepret your actions even though your conscience is clear and the LORD knows that your intentions are good.
- that loving and supporting one person because you see how alone they are and how rejected and judged they feel can have a negative flip side - it leaves someone else feeling loved less, supported less, respected less.
That last hard lesson is a big one for me because I feel empathy for people. I always believe that everybody needs at least ONE person who loves and supports them even if they stuff up, are weak, etc because I never want someone to feel alone, not if I can stand by their side.
I see their potential, I see their heart. I encourage them because I know they need it. I know that's what the LORD would want me to do - to fill them with hope for their future. But then someone else feels like they are less important because of this. I don't see it because I know they have lots of others who believe in them, who look up to them, who accept them with all their faults so they don't need me.
Yet again one of those key words the LORD gave me for this year has popped up - BALANCE!
SUCCESSFUL STRATEGY:
pray, pray and pray! what is impossible for man is more than possible for the LORD.
I believed the LORD would heal and comfort us and help us to remember that we belong to him. I didn't try to fix this FAMILY situation because I saw others try and they made it worse. I knew that only the LORD would be able to rescue us and he did. It took the LORD a week to restore broken relationships and help us to start again.
I have more confirmation that I did the right thing by withdrawing from so many church responsibilities. This was one of the relationships I had planned this year to work on. This was one of my target list. But Satan beat me to it. He sabotaged that seed the LORD planted in me. He tried to destroy it before I could even begin.
George was right, it's the seed Satan is after...destroy it and he destroys God's plans for us.
George's sermon is another post - awesome word from the LORD and perfect timing as usual!
prayer schedule and calendar
hey peoples
I've updated the calendar with change of dates, what's happening etc.
Also, rolled over the prayer schedule. Has anyone used the prayer schedule to pray for our loved ones and those the LORD has put in our hands?
Please don't feel guilty if you haven't done this or you are inconsistent about it. It takes practice.
Praying regularly shows the LORD how important these people are to us. It helps us to be faithful....to me a key to faithfulness is consistency.
Faithfulness is one of the fruits of the spirit...if you ever want to check your progress in your walk...ask yourself what are the fruits you are showing in your life.
Praying helps us to puts our faith into practice. It's the LORD's way. We may never see the outcome of our prayers or it may take years...but that's what it means to have faith.
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
I've updated the calendar with change of dates, what's happening etc.
Also, rolled over the prayer schedule. Has anyone used the prayer schedule to pray for our loved ones and those the LORD has put in our hands?
Please don't feel guilty if you haven't done this or you are inconsistent about it. It takes practice.
Praying regularly shows the LORD how important these people are to us. It helps us to be faithful....to me a key to faithfulness is consistency.
Faithfulness is one of the fruits of the spirit...if you ever want to check your progress in your walk...ask yourself what are the fruits you are showing in your life.
Praying helps us to puts our faith into practice. It's the LORD's way. We may never see the outcome of our prayers or it may take years...but that's what it means to have faith.
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
Hebrews 11:1
So we need to do our personal testimony...
Here is the 5 areas to build your personal testimony:
- Thinking back, how did you view your non-saved life? What did your life revolve around?
- What was the trigger for your salvation?
- What growth, benefits, opportunities, attitude changes, relationship changes etc have you experienced since salvation? What does Christ mean to you now? How do you know Christ is in your life?
- Where do you think your life would be if you were not saved?
- Now you are saved, how do you view your pre-saved life?
Also think about:
- What is the purpose of your personal testimony?
- What work has Christ done in your life?
- How are you strong now? How are you still weak?
- Keep it short (3 mins or 1-2 pages)
- Dont use christianese. Dont preach. Dont speak negatively/critical
- Write as if you are sharing with just one person.
- Ask the Lord to give you guidance!
- It's not a life story - what's the most important idea you are putting across?
Two weeks to do your first draft!
Monday, March 13, 2006
Through it all..
"I sing to you Lord,
a Hymn of Love
For your faithfulness to me,
Im carried on your wings of Love,
You never let me go...
Through it all"
I thank you Lord for loving me and moulding me into your likeness
I thank you for your mercy that is renewed everyday, your loving kindness and compassion.
There is no one like you Lord.
All knowing ever present God of Heaven and earth.
You have proven to me once again that your promises are true and I only need to trust and obey!
Thank you also for your plans arent my plans that your timing is perfect, that there is nothing that you do not know or cant fix.
You are awesome Lord..with you ALL things are possible!
I thank you for you know me by name, my hurts and fears, my weaknesses and strengths as well as the deepest most sacred desires of my heart.Thank you for reminding me that even when its hard to love ME, to you its easy, so easy that you sent your only son to die with my name on his lips. Thank you for setting me free!!
In you i find my peace, from you comes my strength and on the rock of my salvation I will stand firmly, deep rooted in you my refuge, my fortress my GOD in whom I trust!
For so much greater are you who lives in me than he who lives in this world!
I praise you for you are our God of Restoration, of Joy and Love.
Thank You Lord for being my God, for being the GOD of my family and being the God of this world!
I will sing of your praises forever, for you have never forsaken me or left me,thank you for being my canopy, my strength THROUGH IT ALL...
"Choose this day whom you will serve, but for me and my family WE will serve the Lord"
a Hymn of Love
For your faithfulness to me,
Im carried on your wings of Love,
You never let me go...
Through it all"
I thank you Lord for loving me and moulding me into your likeness
I thank you for your mercy that is renewed everyday, your loving kindness and compassion.
There is no one like you Lord.
All knowing ever present God of Heaven and earth.
You have proven to me once again that your promises are true and I only need to trust and obey!
Thank you also for your plans arent my plans that your timing is perfect, that there is nothing that you do not know or cant fix.
You are awesome Lord..with you ALL things are possible!
I thank you for you know me by name, my hurts and fears, my weaknesses and strengths as well as the deepest most sacred desires of my heart.Thank you for reminding me that even when its hard to love ME, to you its easy, so easy that you sent your only son to die with my name on his lips. Thank you for setting me free!!
In you i find my peace, from you comes my strength and on the rock of my salvation I will stand firmly, deep rooted in you my refuge, my fortress my GOD in whom I trust!
For so much greater are you who lives in me than he who lives in this world!
I praise you for you are our God of Restoration, of Joy and Love.
Thank You Lord for being my God, for being the GOD of my family and being the God of this world!
I will sing of your praises forever, for you have never forsaken me or left me,thank you for being my canopy, my strength THROUGH IT ALL...
"Choose this day whom you will serve, but for me and my family WE will serve the Lord"
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
for a treasured friend
I'm writing this for someone very close to my heart. From the LORD's heart to my heart to your heart.
I see you struggling through a storm,
feeling all alone
no one sees or knows how broken you are,
to your world, you are many things...friend, someone to look up to, someone's child, someone's sibling...and you try to play these roles even as you fall apart...and your heart hardens.
I wish I could carry your load
because I know it's more than you can bear
but you are meant to be strong, you are meant to cope
surely the LORD would not test you beyond what you can bear
but the LORD's way out is to cast your cares on to him
because we are not meant to carry it alone
we are meant to scream out I can't cope with this anymore, take it from me!
it's easy to do this when our load is light
but when it just keeps getting heavier and heavier each day
we lose the strength to lift it off our shoulders and surrender it to our LORD
so it weighs us down even more.
Please remember the truth about our LORD
He is working it out for you, he battles a spiritual battle for you, his beloved child
He thinks the world of you. He sees you not as you are now but as the awesome conqueror that you will be.
He sees your pain and he knows you are going to make mistakes.
But it's ok, you are doing what you can to survive today to reach tomorrow.
Please don't be hard on yourself
Your Father loves you
He wrapped himself in humanity to save you
He knows what it's like to be rejected, hurt, misunderstood.
And as you suffer you experience a little of what it's like to him.
One day when you stand before him
You will see that you are more like Jesus than you realised.
Do what you need to do. The rest can wait.
I see you struggling through a storm,
feeling all alone
no one sees or knows how broken you are,
to your world, you are many things...friend, someone to look up to, someone's child, someone's sibling...and you try to play these roles even as you fall apart...and your heart hardens.
I wish I could carry your load
because I know it's more than you can bear
but you are meant to be strong, you are meant to cope
surely the LORD would not test you beyond what you can bear
but the LORD's way out is to cast your cares on to him
because we are not meant to carry it alone
we are meant to scream out I can't cope with this anymore, take it from me!
it's easy to do this when our load is light
but when it just keeps getting heavier and heavier each day
we lose the strength to lift it off our shoulders and surrender it to our LORD
so it weighs us down even more.
Please remember the truth about our LORD
He is working it out for you, he battles a spiritual battle for you, his beloved child
He thinks the world of you. He sees you not as you are now but as the awesome conqueror that you will be.
He sees your pain and he knows you are going to make mistakes.
But it's ok, you are doing what you can to survive today to reach tomorrow.
Please don't be hard on yourself
Your Father loves you
He wrapped himself in humanity to save you
He knows what it's like to be rejected, hurt, misunderstood.
And as you suffer you experience a little of what it's like to him.
One day when you stand before him
You will see that you are more like Jesus than you realised.
Do what you need to do. The rest can wait.
Monday, March 06, 2006
Isaiah 32 life mission part 1
If I could describe my life's mission it would be Isaiah 32 (NIV) and 61...will share 61 another time.
Isaiah 32:
In my Lord's kindgom, I want to be...
a shelter from the wind and a refuge from the storm,
like streams of water in the desert
and the shadow of a great rock in a thirsty land
then...
the eyes of those who see will no longer be closed,
and the ears of those who hear will listen.
the mind of the rash will know and understand,
and the stammering tongue will be fluent and clear...
it goes on to describe a fool - the opposite to the above, finishing with verse 8...
BUT a generous man devises generous things, And by his generosity he shall stand.
(that's the NKJV)
That's me.
Isaiah 32:
In my Lord's kindgom, I want to be...
a shelter from the wind and a refuge from the storm,
like streams of water in the desert
and the shadow of a great rock in a thirsty land
then...
the eyes of those who see will no longer be closed,
and the ears of those who hear will listen.
the mind of the rash will know and understand,
and the stammering tongue will be fluent and clear...
it goes on to describe a fool - the opposite to the above, finishing with verse 8...
BUT a generous man devises generous things, And by his generosity he shall stand.
(that's the NKJV)
That's me.
Sunday, March 05, 2006
40 days study this tuesday
Hey everyone
My study for this week is more reflection than anything else. So here are some things to think about so we can discuss together:
My study for this week is more reflection than anything else. So here are some things to think about so we can discuss together:
- have we finished the purpose driven life book? Did you figure out what your NO. 1 purpose is? Are you serving in some way in all 5 purposes? (did ya notice how we had five purposes and there are five of us...that's God planning!). Have you completed your life statement, testimony, etc?
- Do we still want to continue to meet as a group, especially now everyone has a connect group? Or do we want to meet twice a month - on our fasting tues, and social event? Are there things we still have to do as a group eg: short term mission, prayer, serving?
RECAP 5 PURPOSES:
- to connect (relationships),
- grow (be like our Lord),
- serve (ministry, God and others),
- share (evangelism, missions),
- worship (God's pleasure, church attendance, worship tapes, personal health).
So think about it, pray about it, write about it...why don't we meet Lipo on Tues at the hospital, 7pm? lets not be late, cos visiting hours finish 8pm :)
I think for me the greatest thing the LORD has done is connect us as a group. He's given me an opportunity to build a personal relationship with you all where I feel safe enough to discuss anything. We have been a part of each others lives during a time when we all needed lots of prayer and support.
So much has happened to each of us during that time...personal lives turned upside down, work changes, relationships, major life decisions, trials galore! Imagine if we had to go thru all that on our own? Obviously, the LORD knew we would not cope on our own. But thankfully the LORD had a rescue plan for each of us - his perfect timing brought us together when we needed each other the most!
Thanks, LORD, for thinking of each of us when you formed our group and for your AWESOME perfect timing.
WHAT GOD HAS USED TO GET MY ATTENTION
Well, well, well. If this is what God has to go through just to get someones full attention then its a bit of a worry. Not because He is trying to scare people but He knows and feels for them that sometimes He has to hit them a little bit harder for there attention.
Yes, Im talking about myself here and yes Im writing this from hospital, not because Im here for a visit but Im here because I've been hit with something that I have no idea where it came from or even what it is. BUT its taught me something.
Just by being here, I've started to realise a few things.
This year, God has taken away a few things from me so that He could get my attention but by saying that, these things didint really affect or bother me in a way.
But God is not stupid, He knows what I take pride in, Its my heath and my strength. These are the two things that if its taken away then I will definitely have nothing.
SOOooo... Whats has happen now.???
It could've been worse or something worse and bigger than this but the main thing is, I heard Him and I know what He wants.
This is a learning experience for me, that I have to listen and hear Him when He's trying to talk to me and that I should not take things for granted as I normally do..
Because if I dont listen or trying to ignore what He wants of me then I should know what Im getting myself in..
For more news,
I've been in hosptal for about three(3) days now and its looks like its going to be another three(3) to a week days to go. I ask to please remember me in your prayers.. God Bless.
Yes, Im talking about myself here and yes Im writing this from hospital, not because Im here for a visit but Im here because I've been hit with something that I have no idea where it came from or even what it is. BUT its taught me something.
Just by being here, I've started to realise a few things.
This year, God has taken away a few things from me so that He could get my attention but by saying that, these things didint really affect or bother me in a way.
But God is not stupid, He knows what I take pride in, Its my heath and my strength. These are the two things that if its taken away then I will definitely have nothing.
SOOooo... Whats has happen now.???
It could've been worse or something worse and bigger than this but the main thing is, I heard Him and I know what He wants.
This is a learning experience for me, that I have to listen and hear Him when He's trying to talk to me and that I should not take things for granted as I normally do..
Because if I dont listen or trying to ignore what He wants of me then I should know what Im getting myself in..
For more news,
I've been in hosptal for about three(3) days now and its looks like its going to be another three(3) to a week days to go. I ask to please remember me in your prayers.. God Bless.
Thursday, March 02, 2006
ephesians 4
Unity in the body of Christ
As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to one hope when you were called— one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.
But to each one of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned it. This is why it says:
"When he ascended on high,
he led captives in his train
and gave gifts to men."
(What does "he ascended" mean except that he also descended to the lower, earthly regions? He who descended is the very one who ascended higher than all the heavens, in order to fill the whole universe.) It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.
Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.
Living as Children of Light
So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more.
You, however, did not come to know Christ that way. Surely you heard of him and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. "In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
If I focus on what other people expect of me, what they think or feel about me, then I can't be my Father's daughter. If I go into battle thinking I can save someone or set them free, than I'm going to lose. If I focus on my own hurt, justifying who i am and why i do what i do, then I make it about me...it's not about me...it's about my Saviour who set the world free.
It's clear what the LORD wants me to do: to pursue peace, to keep the unity of his body, to speak the truth in love, to be kind and compassionate, to forgive, to remember who he made me to be. To not grieve the Holy Spirit. All of this in humbleness remembering just how much he has forgiven me for.
As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to one hope when you were called— one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.
But to each one of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned it. This is why it says:
"When he ascended on high,
he led captives in his train
and gave gifts to men."
(What does "he ascended" mean except that he also descended to the lower, earthly regions? He who descended is the very one who ascended higher than all the heavens, in order to fill the whole universe.) It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.
Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.
Living as Children of Light
So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more.
You, however, did not come to know Christ that way. Surely you heard of him and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. "In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
If I focus on what other people expect of me, what they think or feel about me, then I can't be my Father's daughter. If I go into battle thinking I can save someone or set them free, than I'm going to lose. If I focus on my own hurt, justifying who i am and why i do what i do, then I make it about me...it's not about me...it's about my Saviour who set the world free.
It's clear what the LORD wants me to do: to pursue peace, to keep the unity of his body, to speak the truth in love, to be kind and compassionate, to forgive, to remember who he made me to be. To not grieve the Holy Spirit. All of this in humbleness remembering just how much he has forgiven me for.
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
like the waves that go back and forth
so i am feeling with all that is going on...!!!
its been 7 weeks now i think and still my mum refuses to talk to me since i moved out.It is a great barrier in moving on and a big ugly heavy black cloud hovering over my head.It saddens me coz i feel like im an outcast and i have been living with a fake family all this time.That i dont belong anywhere near my family coz im so strange and wonder if this is why the Lord made me so independent, and teaching me at such a young age how to soar alone.
My dad was supposed to call me back to tell me when i can go visit them and sort things out with my mum but still no answer. I cant seem to push past it and breakthrough coz i know i like things sorted, not just brushed under the carpet and live life in a facade.
ironically i hate having to be the one to confront issues like this and so i needed all the Lords strength and peace to make that call.
Work is extremely high pressure, and im feeling it which is very unusual for me....and to think i only took it coz i wanted to help some one out who was in desperate need of love and laughter.Now i barely have time to converse with her!!
I miss my sister and my heart cries for her company everyday. I miss going home to my parents house,and just be around their noise and dramas.
My man is surprisingly so needy and the sounding board for all my stresses.On a normal day it would be lovely to have your man "need"to just be around you even if your not talking but with everything else going on, it feels like suffocation to me and so i reject him and at times snap at him for nothing, which normally ends in an argument.
Ive got connect which i need to spend extra time preparing because of our study program and the fact that i cant seemt o make time to see all the girls individually so i get to see how they really are.
Yet, in the bottom of it all thertes a little voice reminding me again of who I believe in and who I seek validation from, and what he needs me to do!!!
I know Satan is working hard and getting me to believe that my mum was right about me, that I am everything she says I am and therefore i wont prosper in any plans i have.
and most of all the haunting words of my mother follow me everywhere " it is not gods will to move out and that all this crap is following me coz im disobedient"
i feel like just leaving the country and run off somewhere and start all over...but that is precisely whats making me feel like the waves that James speak off....that go back and forth achieving nothing!!
I come to the Lord yet my body is weak, but my spirit soars and wants me to focus on the Lord the creator of heaven and earth, from whom my help comes from....but really i just want to give it up and switch my mind off so i dont care anymore.....but how can i when i know what i know and i am accountable for so much...for where can i go to hide from God? not the heavens coz hes there, not the depths of the earth coz he is also there, not the east or the west...
Where can i go to hide from your presence Lord?? Even in the darkness of my mind your light shines so brightly covering any doubt and lies that lay there..because of your love for me you give me a truth to doubt the doubts Satan puts in my heart....
Lord im trusting in you, im trusting in your faithfulness to me, im trusting in your deliverance of my family and the restoration of broken relationships! i can only trust Lord, trust and obey!!!
"Why are you so downcast oh my Soul, trust in the Lord for I am yet to praise him"
its been 7 weeks now i think and still my mum refuses to talk to me since i moved out.It is a great barrier in moving on and a big ugly heavy black cloud hovering over my head.It saddens me coz i feel like im an outcast and i have been living with a fake family all this time.That i dont belong anywhere near my family coz im so strange and wonder if this is why the Lord made me so independent, and teaching me at such a young age how to soar alone.
My dad was supposed to call me back to tell me when i can go visit them and sort things out with my mum but still no answer. I cant seem to push past it and breakthrough coz i know i like things sorted, not just brushed under the carpet and live life in a facade.
ironically i hate having to be the one to confront issues like this and so i needed all the Lords strength and peace to make that call.
Work is extremely high pressure, and im feeling it which is very unusual for me....and to think i only took it coz i wanted to help some one out who was in desperate need of love and laughter.Now i barely have time to converse with her!!
I miss my sister and my heart cries for her company everyday. I miss going home to my parents house,and just be around their noise and dramas.
My man is surprisingly so needy and the sounding board for all my stresses.On a normal day it would be lovely to have your man "need"to just be around you even if your not talking but with everything else going on, it feels like suffocation to me and so i reject him and at times snap at him for nothing, which normally ends in an argument.
Ive got connect which i need to spend extra time preparing because of our study program and the fact that i cant seemt o make time to see all the girls individually so i get to see how they really are.
Yet, in the bottom of it all thertes a little voice reminding me again of who I believe in and who I seek validation from, and what he needs me to do!!!
I know Satan is working hard and getting me to believe that my mum was right about me, that I am everything she says I am and therefore i wont prosper in any plans i have.
and most of all the haunting words of my mother follow me everywhere " it is not gods will to move out and that all this crap is following me coz im disobedient"
i feel like just leaving the country and run off somewhere and start all over...but that is precisely whats making me feel like the waves that James speak off....that go back and forth achieving nothing!!
I come to the Lord yet my body is weak, but my spirit soars and wants me to focus on the Lord the creator of heaven and earth, from whom my help comes from....but really i just want to give it up and switch my mind off so i dont care anymore.....but how can i when i know what i know and i am accountable for so much...for where can i go to hide from God? not the heavens coz hes there, not the depths of the earth coz he is also there, not the east or the west...
Where can i go to hide from your presence Lord?? Even in the darkness of my mind your light shines so brightly covering any doubt and lies that lay there..because of your love for me you give me a truth to doubt the doubts Satan puts in my heart....
Lord im trusting in you, im trusting in your faithfulness to me, im trusting in your deliverance of my family and the restoration of broken relationships! i can only trust Lord, trust and obey!!!
"Why are you so downcast oh my Soul, trust in the Lord for I am yet to praise him"
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