Monday, May 17, 2010

month of may

may is going to be a very emotional month for me.  My brother's birthday.  My brother died 10 days after his birthday.  My anniversary with my man.  Realised something about myself.  I will never be able to look at 16 may, when my brother died, as anything but sad.  I thought maybe one day because my sister and mum want to make it a special day.  But my Dad died 7 yrs ago and I still hate that day.

But his birthday.  I will always celebrate that day.  Next year is his 40th so will throw him a big bash :)

This year our anniversary, 20th years as a couple, was overshadowed by the focus on Rob.  1st birthday since he died, etc.  But I also realised that I want to make our anniversary something worth remembering and celebrating.

Don't know how all these mixed emotions will balance out...but next year i will do better.

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