Reading thru the discipline book recommended by Faith. It's seriously encouraged me because I didn't have much luck putting into practice current baby techniques of letting them cry or old techniques of discipine. So a lot of the practices recommended in the book we have done just thru building relationships with our two little ones and adapting to their needs and what's right for us.
I think some people look at me and think I'm overly sensitive to my children but they're just as important to me as any adult so I do listen to them and answer them when they call me. And i'm flexible with their routines.
Caleb is super shy with people he doesn't know well and in a family of loud laughing social butterflies it's a bit hard for some to understand. But myles and i were both shy when we were little so he has a double dose of it! We don't try to force him to say hello, etc we just try to encourage him and interact with him.
I'm going to keep a diary of my little ones. How they're developing as little people...how our relationship grows...the many changes.
Today's note:
my son says 'no' a lot. I'm told at this age 'no' is normal. But he also has a habit of turning any suggestions into the negative....if he's said 'no' to something then even things he normally likes doing will get the negative response...eg: if I say do you want to go outside he will say, 'no don't want to go outside'. do you want a hug 'no, don't want a hug'....etc.
He is very strong willed. And refuses to do anything someone else tells him, if he gets in his 'negative' mood. What does this mean for him? I find myself asking the LORD why does he need to stand up for himself so? why does he need to be so strong willed? I wonder what he will have to face in the future, that he might need this in his personality?
I have learnt not to tell him to stop doing something instead I give him something different to do. Eg: instead of saying move back from the tv, which he immediately says 'no' to, I pull his couch out and say 'caleb come and sit on your couch' or if i'm sitting on the big couch I will say 'come sit with mummy' and he does. Without any problems.
2 comments:
It is VERY VERY typical for children at the toddler to age 4 year old stage to want to assert their own will. That is ok, within reason and with boundaries. (as you already know and are probably doing!:) )
Sometimes I would tell my 2 year old when she would say "No" this: Well, I am the Mommy and you are my little girl. You do not have a choice about taking a bath. You can choose the duck or the fish to play with. Choose one. But not ok to say NO to bath time." or something like that depending on the situation. Allowing young children to make some choices, within reason is very important for them....they need to feel in control a bit. When it comes to whining, I used to pretend my ears couldn't hear them and I would tell them so, until they used their "big girl" voice. You sound like you are doing a great job with your little ones! Glad you like the book...I LOVE that book!
Hi faith. will definitely try that line. In the last few weeks I have noticed my little man is reasoning alot more and understanding more. I always try to let him have choices and make decisions for himself. Because he loves it so much. Eg: no you can't take all your cars to the shops, you can take one car. You choose the car...
I use the 'divert attention' a lot to get Caleb to focus on an aspect of what he likes about something he doesn't want to do. eg: he does not like going to bed...but he likes reading books and fixing bed. So we say that instead of bedtime.
And guess what he wanted to start his bedtime prayer last nite, and wanted to pray for everyone he could think of! So cool!
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