40 yr old turning 5

LORD
who am I, who did you want me to be?
Am i anywhere near being that person?
Or did i turn right instead of left?

How close am i really to you?
How close was i meant to be?
i am 40yrs old and I have to wonder...have i come a long way?
What was i meant to achieve by this age?

I hope and pray that my relationship with my only living biological parent doesn't reflect my relationship with you. From her point of view i don't listen, i'm full of myself and i need to be told what to do every 5mins like a 5 yr old...oh great, that is how i am with you!

Please redeem the rest of my yrs so i can catch up...at least let me grow up faster with what's left of this year...so i can at least be 10 at the end of it. I will try to listen more, and be more humble.

I love you LORD with all that's worth from my heart to yours.