sickness

kids are both sick. now i know what it feels like to be my brother. He has 4 kids and when one gets sick they all go down!

I don't cope well with sickness. Caleb has very rarely been sick but when he is i become a blubbering mess. So having two kids sick as been a huge learning experience. But here's something interesting. My little girl has the cold and when i talk to her i say things like 'you can fight this little one', 'keep fighting'...what's with that??? Yet with caleb it's all been 'my poor baby' and lots of comforting talk.

Yet my daughter I seem to be trying to build her up or something! Am i expecting more from her already? Or is it because she's my 2nd child and so i have more experience and know she will be alright? But she's only a month old. I see her struggling to breath and wish i could do something to help her breath, tried sucking the mucus out of her nose because the silly nose drops weren't doing a lot of good and causing her a lot of stress, making her even more blocked up.

it's weird because my relationship with my own mum who is here helping out is deteriorating. And i hope and pray that I build a much more loving and accepting relationship with my little girl.

For some reason in my family more is expected of girls. They have more responsibility. I'm typical of girls in my family. I don't want that for my daughter. I don't want to expect more of her than caleb. she can be her own person. I don't want to be doomed to repeat the mistakes of my parents but then i don't want to overcompensate and go the other way.

Balance, balance, balance. LORD, help me to love her the way you love her. To be her guide and her greatest cheerleader. To be a great steward of this awesome creation you have placed in our hands. She's so vulnerable and I guess part of me what's to make her strong so she can cope with this world. Please draw close to her LORD and help her to love you. Thank you for protecting her and being her rock and her refuge. Hide her in your wings LORD as she battles this cold. help her to a speedy recovery. Thank you LORD.