My uncle died on Tues. He has been sick for a couple of years - 75 years old, so it's a mixed blessing because now he's no longer in pain and he went to be with the LORD. I wasn't feeling sad about it until I saw him and my aunty. Having just been to Myles' mum's funeral it's all just too much sadness. Lost so many loved ones, 3 of them in April...bad month for my family. I think I'm over mourning.
It has been a busy time for us. I have been feeling sick and we're moving house. So been busy packing up old house, cleaning and unpacking at new house. My family is busy with funeral preparations so haven't had the usual cousins to help. But Monday we've hired a truck and 4 of my male cousins are coming over to help load and unload.
Funerals in my culture are no small feat. My uncle was a popular man in his community and church so it will be a big funeral with lots of people turning up at their house to pay their respect. There's always a lot of cooking and lots of people.
I would normally be over there a lot but with moving and being preggy and sick it's just not possible. Have had to prioritise so packing and cleaning is all i'm doing until the big move on Monday. We're not moving far from our current place so it makes it easy to troup back and forth.
My niece has been helping me pack and unpack. She's 9 and needs to know the exact schedule of her day...what we're doing every hour. So keeping her entertained has been funny while still letting her help me. She likes cleaning the outside of cupboards but not the inside. She loves using the cleaning spray and is always trying to create jobs that require spraying. She enjoys vacuuming but only what she can see is dirty :)
I can't wait to settle in to our new home and focus on baby. With the funeral, my Mum is now coming over earlier which is another mixed blessing....letting her help me while not letting her stress me over her perfectionist, only 'one way' to do everything attitude. caleb is going to love having her around. Will have to make sure she doesn't spoil him to the point of disobedient!
sleep is calling me.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Friday, April 18, 2008
God and me
what does it mean to be your daughter LORD?
is it perfection? Creation made perfect?
or is it acceptance? Of who we are and who others are.
that even angels are not perfect.
but they are loved, just as we are.
why did you make us so flawed LORD?
to right a wrong and give Satan a chance to repent?
Or to prove that love is the only way.
Satan chooses hate as his weapon because he knows you are love.
he tries to undermine you by attacking your greatest weapon - love.
He takes love from those who have it
Shines it in the light so we can see just how imperfect it is.
He steals it from us little by little so we don't even notice
And then we wonder why we are all strangers.
You say love never fails
love covers a multitude of sins
love activates faith
without it all the glory, all the miracles in the world are meaningless.
So what do you expect of me, your daughter?
Not just to live my life to the full, not just to achieve all that I can.
But to do all this with love.
To do less things than this with love.
Always when given a choice.
My choice must always be to love.
I am your daughter.
You made me this way.
What if I can't?
You will still love me.
is it perfection? Creation made perfect?
or is it acceptance? Of who we are and who others are.
that even angels are not perfect.
but they are loved, just as we are.
why did you make us so flawed LORD?
to right a wrong and give Satan a chance to repent?
Or to prove that love is the only way.
Satan chooses hate as his weapon because he knows you are love.
he tries to undermine you by attacking your greatest weapon - love.
He takes love from those who have it
Shines it in the light so we can see just how imperfect it is.
He steals it from us little by little so we don't even notice
And then we wonder why we are all strangers.
You say love never fails
love covers a multitude of sins
love activates faith
without it all the glory, all the miracles in the world are meaningless.
So what do you expect of me, your daughter?
Not just to live my life to the full, not just to achieve all that I can.
But to do all this with love.
To do less things than this with love.
Always when given a choice.
My choice must always be to love.
I am your daughter.
You made me this way.
What if I can't?
You will still love me.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
change in the air
i'm turning 40 this year. So it seems like a good time to assess who i am and what needs to change. I have lots of qualities which are less than admirable and I have to make an effort to change. So what do I need to change...well this is just what I can think of now:
my hubby gave me my 1st one:
I need to be less bossy or loosen up more!
I live with 3 men - hubby, son and brother. I feel like I play mother to all 3 not just little Caleb. I know that I'm alot more flexible then i use to be about keeping the house tidy. And I let mess slide otherwise I will go crazy telling the boys to tidy up after themselves. eg: my man has a habit of eating and leaving his plate on the bench...sometimes he will remember to pack it but other times he will leave it there over night. Or he will open a muesli bar and instead of putting the wrapper in the rubbish he will leave it on the bench. So I have to stop telling him what to do all the time and let him be messy and do things his way instead of telling him my way all the time.
I need to be more assertive and brave
I'm not brave about doing new things and I'm terrible with ringing up things or people. I need to get my licence and take control of my life. I procrastinate too much.
I need to build relationships with those closest to me and make time for my loved ones
I spend the majority of time with my man and caleb. But it might be a case of too much time so we don't value each other as much.
I need to get back to reading more!
I use to be an avid reader but these days I go through moments when I will read 3 books in a month and then read nothing for months on end!
I need to pay more attention to what's happening in the real world
I don't pay attention to any current affairs. It's terrible but it just seems to be the same old same old. It's not a good trait for a christian. I need to know what's happening in the world. So watching the news and reading my man's news website which has a broad range of current affairs.
I need to take better care of myself
I don't do enough pampering of myself and girlie things. I need to include this into my time. Plus my health and fitness.
Well that's it for now. Some of these things are small and easily rectified but the biggest thing for me is I need to loosen up. I'm such an overanalyser that I pass judgement on everything instead of just enjoying it. As I have gotten older it has become worse. I need to be more like my husband in some respect. No wonder the LORD placed him in my life. It's that horrid word again that I struggle with ACCEPT.
I use to be a lot more carefree and loved doing spur of the moment things. But now time is taken up by the routine of life and doing extra things seem to be too draining. With two kids I hope I find more energy and get back to being more inventive with my time.
That's a start.
my hubby gave me my 1st one:
I need to be less bossy or loosen up more!
I live with 3 men - hubby, son and brother. I feel like I play mother to all 3 not just little Caleb. I know that I'm alot more flexible then i use to be about keeping the house tidy. And I let mess slide otherwise I will go crazy telling the boys to tidy up after themselves. eg: my man has a habit of eating and leaving his plate on the bench...sometimes he will remember to pack it but other times he will leave it there over night. Or he will open a muesli bar and instead of putting the wrapper in the rubbish he will leave it on the bench. So I have to stop telling him what to do all the time and let him be messy and do things his way instead of telling him my way all the time.
I need to be more assertive and brave
I'm not brave about doing new things and I'm terrible with ringing up things or people. I need to get my licence and take control of my life. I procrastinate too much.
I need to build relationships with those closest to me and make time for my loved ones
I spend the majority of time with my man and caleb. But it might be a case of too much time so we don't value each other as much.
I need to get back to reading more!
I use to be an avid reader but these days I go through moments when I will read 3 books in a month and then read nothing for months on end!
I need to pay more attention to what's happening in the real world
I don't pay attention to any current affairs. It's terrible but it just seems to be the same old same old. It's not a good trait for a christian. I need to know what's happening in the world. So watching the news and reading my man's news website which has a broad range of current affairs.
I need to take better care of myself
I don't do enough pampering of myself and girlie things. I need to include this into my time. Plus my health and fitness.
Well that's it for now. Some of these things are small and easily rectified but the biggest thing for me is I need to loosen up. I'm such an overanalyser that I pass judgement on everything instead of just enjoying it. As I have gotten older it has become worse. I need to be more like my husband in some respect. No wonder the LORD placed him in my life. It's that horrid word again that I struggle with ACCEPT.
I use to be a lot more carefree and loved doing spur of the moment things. But now time is taken up by the routine of life and doing extra things seem to be too draining. With two kids I hope I find more energy and get back to being more inventive with my time.
That's a start.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
I'm up late because I haven't felt baby kicking much today. So made myself a cup of tea, but of course I can't just sit on the couch and watch tv I have to be doing something.
She has been kicking and moving a lot lately so maybe she's just having a quiet day.
We still don't have a name for baby. Her middle name is Diana, after Myles' Mum. And her nickname is Gobbie. Poor girl. Her Aunty, Myles' sister, in her hunt for baby names came across some Irish name which sounds like Gobnet. And when you're talking about baby alot it's much easier for her to have name...so she was called Gobbie for short. Myles' family will probably keep that nickname for her even when we do find her a name. I might use it when she's misbehaving and needs to be put in her place :)
The cup of tea hasn't worked...might try a midnight snack!
She has been kicking and moving a lot lately so maybe she's just having a quiet day.
We still don't have a name for baby. Her middle name is Diana, after Myles' Mum. And her nickname is Gobbie. Poor girl. Her Aunty, Myles' sister, in her hunt for baby names came across some Irish name which sounds like Gobnet. And when you're talking about baby alot it's much easier for her to have name...so she was called Gobbie for short. Myles' family will probably keep that nickname for her even when we do find her a name. I might use it when she's misbehaving and needs to be put in her place :)
The cup of tea hasn't worked...might try a midnight snack!
caleb update
Sunday nite my son developed a high temperature. All day he was a bit tired and didn't eat as much as he normally does. So gave him panadols throughout the nite. But at about 5am he had a temperature of 39.4. So we zoomed off to emergency at our local hospital. Stayed there for a few hours trying to get a urine sample. But of course he had just had a wet nappy and didn't want anything else to drink. So the doctor told us to go home since he had no other symptoms. And in a couple of days take him to our family doctor for a check up.
So Monday nite he still had a temperature and about 3am tues morning it shot up to 39.8. We tried giving him nuorefen but he spewed it up. We were so worried we took him to emergency again. They checked him and basically sent us home. Just as we in the waitng room waiting for my brother to pick us up he spewed so we told the duty nurse and she kind of brushed us off saying he's a sick kid so spewing is normal.
They must have thought we were over cautious parents. But we are 1st time parents who are not use to their little boy being sick so yes we were worried. We've learnt now that a fever is not a bad thing and not to rush off to emergency :)
Today caleb is much better. still not eating as much but his temp is much better. hoooraaaay!!!
I kept thinking to myself. How do parents cope with their kids being sick - much worse than this. He's so small and can't communicate with us apart from the cry and call 'mum' all the time. Maybe it will be easier when he can tell us what hurts. I hope so!
So Monday nite he still had a temperature and about 3am tues morning it shot up to 39.8. We tried giving him nuorefen but he spewed it up. We were so worried we took him to emergency again. They checked him and basically sent us home. Just as we in the waitng room waiting for my brother to pick us up he spewed so we told the duty nurse and she kind of brushed us off saying he's a sick kid so spewing is normal.
They must have thought we were over cautious parents. But we are 1st time parents who are not use to their little boy being sick so yes we were worried. We've learnt now that a fever is not a bad thing and not to rush off to emergency :)
Today caleb is much better. still not eating as much but his temp is much better. hoooraaaay!!!
I kept thinking to myself. How do parents cope with their kids being sick - much worse than this. He's so small and can't communicate with us apart from the cry and call 'mum' all the time. Maybe it will be easier when he can tell us what hurts. I hope so!
Saturday, April 12, 2008
house and home
found a place! We looked last weekend and applied for one place and found out this weekend that we were successful. Hooray!
The place met most of our requirements and all 3 of us liked it. My only worry was that it would be too far from the train station for Myles but he said it was fine. There is no more swimming pool so will have to take my nieces and nephews to public pools and beaches more. But its big enough for my cousin to hold his outdoor wedding reception if he chooses.
And added bonuses - it has two of my favourite trees - hibiscus and frangipani. Saw it again today and the backyard had lots of fallen frangipani flowers so of course I pictured me and my children collecting them all and filling the house with its scent. Especially the bathrooms - yip have two which is great when there are lots of people.
The rooms are a great size and have built ins, floor boards throughout the house except for the kids room which has a carpet that looks like it could cope with messy little ones :) That was an added bonus because floorboard can be cold in winter for little ones.
There are two fire places, not useable but great looking features and I have a window seat in the master bedroom. Plus air con in the living areas which will be great for our hot summers. The backyard is a great space for the kids, not too big, and very private. Plus great outdoor spaces for hanging out.
And its close to our church. What more can I ask for? Oh yes, i can see it being a very cosy home to raise little ones and for family gatherings. Thanks, LORD.
The place met most of our requirements and all 3 of us liked it. My only worry was that it would be too far from the train station for Myles but he said it was fine. There is no more swimming pool so will have to take my nieces and nephews to public pools and beaches more. But its big enough for my cousin to hold his outdoor wedding reception if he chooses.
And added bonuses - it has two of my favourite trees - hibiscus and frangipani. Saw it again today and the backyard had lots of fallen frangipani flowers so of course I pictured me and my children collecting them all and filling the house with its scent. Especially the bathrooms - yip have two which is great when there are lots of people.
The rooms are a great size and have built ins, floor boards throughout the house except for the kids room which has a carpet that looks like it could cope with messy little ones :) That was an added bonus because floorboard can be cold in winter for little ones.
There are two fire places, not useable but great looking features and I have a window seat in the master bedroom. Plus air con in the living areas which will be great for our hot summers. The backyard is a great space for the kids, not too big, and very private. Plus great outdoor spaces for hanging out.
And its close to our church. What more can I ask for? Oh yes, i can see it being a very cosy home to raise little ones and for family gatherings. Thanks, LORD.
Monday, April 07, 2008
update
it's been a while. We're back in Sydney. Lots of things to organise...baby preparations, doctors, and house hunting.
I'm super tired, and caleb is super active, makes for a great combination :)
Myles is back at work but he played one volleyball game and sprained his ankle and fractured a bone in his foot. So we would both be house bound if it wasn't for my brother driving us to view houses, and doctors appointments.
I'm eager to move before it gets to close to my due date - June 29. Still no name for my little girl and i think we've brainstormed every girls name there is...well it feels that way. worked my way through a baby book...plus all myles' siblings many suggestions during our time in NZ.
That's all my news. My son is growing so much he's almost getting too heavy to carry around. He's learning so much at the moment. Mimicking words and actions. He's such a boy - he thinks everything is a drum. My back, the floor, pots, the table, chairs, etc.
I'm super tired, and caleb is super active, makes for a great combination :)
Myles is back at work but he played one volleyball game and sprained his ankle and fractured a bone in his foot. So we would both be house bound if it wasn't for my brother driving us to view houses, and doctors appointments.
I'm eager to move before it gets to close to my due date - June 29. Still no name for my little girl and i think we've brainstormed every girls name there is...well it feels that way. worked my way through a baby book...plus all myles' siblings many suggestions during our time in NZ.
That's all my news. My son is growing so much he's almost getting too heavy to carry around. He's learning so much at the moment. Mimicking words and actions. He's such a boy - he thinks everything is a drum. My back, the floor, pots, the table, chairs, etc.
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