change

hooray we are finally back online!!!

We have moved house and now we live in a very quiet suburb in Sydney...it' s more like a village where everyone knows everyone. I seem to be the only Pacific Islander here apart from my cousins who live down the road.

No more looking out the window of my house and wondering if I'm in Sydney or Beijing. I'm going to miss being surrounded by Asian cultures - the yummy food, the cheap shopping. It's funny my mum being a kiwi in her ways, use to feel completely unsafe being surrounded by Asians, but me, I felt very much at home. In the end she realised that Asians are not the least bit interested in her. Spoke to her on the phone and she said she is going to miss our old place. That's my mum, always looking into the past.

Maybe it's because I'm an ethnic minority, but I always feel safer surrounded by different cultures. We have usually lived in spots where their are other ethnic cultures where we can enjoy their food, and exposure to other ways of life. Even in London, we lived in a mostly turkish cypriot area (how is that spelt?? anyways people from Cyprus). We loved the food and had a favourite cypriot restaurant on the high st.

Oh well time for change.

I have been thinking about CHANGE alot lately. How the LORD always changes us and we are always in the process of BECOMING the beautiful creations he knows we are....SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL WORTHY OF KEEPING FOR ALL ETERNITY.

Even generational, each generation should be better than the last, because hopefully their parents have taught them well, and they can learn from their mistakes. Because life is short we don't have time for TRIAL AND ERROR in every aspect of our life. Yes, we all have to experience some things for ourselves because it's the only way we will learn. But hopefully some things we have learnt from our elders and adopt them because we have seen the value of them in their life experiences.

Now there is this next generation growing in me. Our baby is 13 weeks and I am almost in my 2nd trimester. Out of the danger zone. I am the most careful mum there is out there. It's my 2nd child, the first one only lasted 7 weeks, being an entopic pregnancy. I have waited 5 years for this baby and just when it's growing inside of me, I don't want to take any risks that would jeopardise his/her life. People think now I can take it easier, but until baby is out I will be careful.

I am enjoying every single pregnancy symptom. I think my man could be getting sick of me describing them to him every 5 mins - but oh well, he's got to experience some of it too! Actually he's been getting a lot of sympathy pains! My man has been great - massaging my head, when i'm tired he basically takes over while I curl up on the couch or in bed.

When I spewed for the first time, I was like 'HOOORAAAY, I'm pregnant!'

Anyways back to change. The more I know the LORD the more I am expected to change. I can't have as many self-indulgent moments as I use to because life becomes less about self and more about others. Just being responsible for the little I have in my hand is more than enough for me.

My marriage is going through tons of changes. It has had some terrible changes in the last few years but the LORD is pouring truth and light into our lives, that the darkness has no choice but to be exposed and repelled. It has to be done no matter how scarry or how hard it is.

We have a baby to prepare for, a new generation to fill with his love so the LORD will never be forgotten. We can't do that if the no. 1 example our baby has of God's love is not built on solid ground, not strong enough to survive life's storms.

We can't afford to be complacent anymore. We have to change, to renew our minds so we can be transformed. Otherwise we are doomed to follow the patterns of this world.

If I get nothing else right in my life - if I fail as a friend, as a sister, as a daughter, as a cousin, as a niece but manage to pass on a legacy of God's love to our children then I can meet my Creator satisfied that I was a wife and a mother. Any other achievements will pale in comparison.