ps

LORD
Thanks for dinner last nite with myles' family. I'm glad it went smoothly. Thanks for being with us in our daily lives, LORD.

Today I'm praying for Zella's connect group: Alex, Cat, Jen, Claire. I know Jen's not going as frequently with all her commitments. Please help her in everyday life, LORD, and in her relationship with Chris. Help her to draw near to you so you can draw near to her. She has a great heart LORD and I thank you for her commitment to coming to church so far from her home. Please help her to make wise choices about her future.

I pray for Cat LORD who is very involved in church activities this year. I know she is helping out with the women's retreat and youth group. I think she is another person who needs help with her daily life - with her family and personal relationships. Cat needs your guidance LORD, you spirit of discernment, so she can make right choices for her future too.

I have prayed for Alex and Claire so these prayers are still the same, that they will know you more as their personal Saviour and as their first love. That they will grow in confidence and become the awesome women that you want them to be. That you would bless their relationships and help them to make wise choices.

For the group as a whole LORD, I pray that they grow closer to you and each other. That the group would meet their needs and help them to learn more about who you really are and the truth about you. So they can start to realise who they are in you. Mostly to know that you want them to enjoy their lives and your plans are to prosper them not to harm them, but to give them hope and a future.

I want them to experience the joy of having their God love them and care for them right now as they are. To know that the struggle is not to become perfect and obey lots of rules of christianity. But to experience an incredible gift given to them freely....so they can reach their full potential and discover their individual purposes which will set their hearts on fire and be more amazing then anything they could ever hope for or imagine!

People lead dissatisfied lives because they haven't discovered their purpose, and try to find happiness in other purposes, but always miss the mark. Until we are living the life you have planned for us, we will always be dissatisfied. The girls need your spirit LORD, to guide them and renew their minds so they can see life with you is not a burden but an awesome journey with the love of their lives.

in your precious name Lord.

ps

LORD,

Thanks for yet another awesome day. Thanks for letting us catch up with a couple of our girl cousins yesterday.

Today I would like to lift up zee's old work colleagues. Her friend Di and her family and Puspa. I pray for the seeds that zee has sowed into their lives, for your protection of them, so they will have the opportunity to grow and reap a harvest for you.

I ask that you guide zee in whatever role you want her to play in their lives, how to love them. I know that Di, especially, looked to her for advice on her children, so if you still want zee to continue to help them, then please provide her with new opportunities.

Help Di and Puspa to see you through Zella, LORD. To see your love and grace. To show them how real and relevant you are to ordinary people with daily life struggles.

Thanks, Holy Spirit for guiding my prayer request. In my Saviour's name, I pray.

love again

i think i have written on this subject before and here it is again!

why is it so easy for the LORD to love us who are so undeserving...we have all lied, we all deceive, most of us are selfish, self-centred, full of ego, self-righteous. Yet the LORD loves us.

Why then is it so hard for us to love????

I think it's because the LORD can put us first. He truly wants what's best for us. He could turn us into robots, and take away our free will so we would always love and obey, but he never has.

But we make love about us. when we describe why we love someone it generally is about us, because of the way they make us feel, and the things they do for us.

I hope one day I will learn to love without thinking 'what about me' because i know that day still hasn't arrived. Sure I might have a moment like that, but it's drowned by all the million other moments of 'what about me'.

I wonder when I have a child will i be able to love him/her like the LORD. Probably, until they develop a will of their own!

ps

Lord
how perfect is your timing. Yesterday i thought i would check where i left off on the prayer schedule and start again. And yesterday was the last day of the month i prayed for the people in our lives on our blog.

Today i'm focusing on some of the girls at church - Kirsten, Kirsten, Sharon, Chris, and Belinda. I have no idea what's happening in their lives or the struggles and victories they are going through. But I know you know. I ask that you continue to bless them and help them to build awesome relationships with you. They are amazing women and a real asset to our church.

Thank you LORD for the variety in our church as shown by these women alone - thank you that you're such an incredible master planner and you know who to put along side each other.

Lord, I just want to lift up Sharon's dad. I pray that you would give her an opportunity to witness to him, to bring him to you. Give her the strength to cope with whatever happens LORD. I have already asked you for healing for him and i don't know what his current condition is but I pray that you spirit would be in the midst of this situation, that you would fill Sharon with your love and understanding. Also Sharon's Mum, Lord, please help her. You know the condition of her heart and what she needs. It would be awesome if she found comfort in you, if this gave Sharon's parents an opportunity to know who are and how much you love them.

Thank you LORD. Thank you for hearing our prayers and for loving us so much. For giving us your best, LORD. In Jesus' name. amene

Am I reverent enough?

I was driving into work today and drove past a glorious brick Anglican church and then a similar Catholic church with crosses all over it. They seemed so (yes - conservative), respectful and the word that came to my mind was "reverent".

I wondered about our church (held in a public school hall) and how it's really casual etc.

Then I realised that the 'church institution' is not a sign of reverence.

Living day to day life in a godly manner. Simple interactions with people and showing Gods love. Doing what God wants you to do. That is reverence.

Another lesson concluded in my learnings! A small one...but important I think.

What am I afraid of?

I get scrared. Fearful.

Not of things like spiders and cockroaches. Of things like: will my marriage survive? Will the baby be OK? Will I be ashamed?

But what should I really fear? Losing my faith? Dieing and facing Jesus? If in my heart I don't fear either of these things then I truely have nothing to fear. Nothing to worry about!

I now understand I can choose to fear worldy things, or I can learn to fear God. I always used to think that was a bad part of christianity, but now realise its one of the best bits!

Forgiven not forgotten

Here I am, I say to the Lord...now what???

life has been a bit bumby lately and I had to take the advice i have been hearing without hearing...."retrace your steps to when you first felt the abscence of God, somewhere along the line you got distracted, you were disobedient, you forgot who you are in Christ and now you wander around in the wilderness feeling alone"

I can hear Paul say "the thorn in my flesh" testimony..it just wont go away....buit instead of relying on the Lords grace for my strength I impatiently seek him with a sorrowful heart asking where to from here??
But Myles blog gave me the answer to this endless pursuit of God without answers....
"drawn unto me and I will draw unto you"

He also reminded me that the Lord loves me and has forgotten my transgressions so i need to stop condemning myself with every failure, which is bizzarre because this was one of my favourite scriptures, but somehow I forgot all about it.
" so far is the east is from the west..So far have i removed your sins from you"

Thanks for reminding me again who I am in Jesus!!!

A sinner saved!!!

Reading the bible - got some God questions

I am reading the bible in a year thanks to my XDA II mini PDA and the e-sword software. I am reading the simpler contemporary english version (CEV) which makes reading it a lot easier!

Anyway while reading it I got a couple of questions people may be able to help me with:

• why are God's words not in red letter, while Jesus' are?
• God seems to do a lot of speaking direct to people in the Old Testament, but does he speak direct to people (Genesis 46:2 - wow!) in the New Testament (or does Jesus do all the talking)?

church

in response to my beautiful man's post yesterday about church...i can do 3 of the things on his list but there is one that I have always struggled with... his 3rd reason for why he goes to church. So the LORD can give me a message or so the LORD can speak to me.

What if 90% of the time I don't receive any messages from church that apply to my every day life, that teach me, challenge me...then I have to question am I planted in the right church?

I have prayed about it. I know how important it is to keep a good attitude when it's not about you. So I use the other resources in my life to learn and grow - my bible, teaching tapes, other church services, conferences, Joyce Meyer, christian books, and our 40 days sessions.

Our church is over a year old now...and I can probably count on one hand the number of sermons that I could apply to my life, that changed me and have helped me in my life struggles.

I have lasted this long at church because of our 40 days group. Our group was challenging and helped me to grow at a crucial time in my marriage and personal relationships.

But i know church is relevant for Myles and if this is where the LORD wants me to be then I will stay. If this is where Myles is learning than I will just have to keep using all the other resources the LORD has given me so I can keep growing.

But then I also know what it is to belong to a church that motivated me, and equiped for the week ahead 90% of the time. The LORD was so alive to me and 100% relevant to me and my every day life. I have been spoilt.

I am hoping this is just a season that will pass...and I just have to persevere.

Why do I go to Church?

Not to fellowship with others (but so others can fellowship with me). Not to hear good music (but to sing God's praises). Not to hear Frank speak (but to open my heart so the Lord can give me a message). Not to get something for me (but to serve other christians).

If I could I would rename it to be called the 'not about me' church service (and Riverside Church would be called the 'not about us' church).

Disclaimer: this blog entry is not to judge people who may not be going to church of late...but it has triggered me to thinking why do I go to church.

I am a wicked sinner...but...

...when no one loves me I know Jesus will stand in the gap.

A revelation I have received recently (I know, I know it's taken a while) is that God is my strength. He does not build me up so I can do it for myself....'cause I will always fail to my weaknesses. He builds me up to love, serve and rely on him more.

I am reading a daily devotional at the moment (from some guy called Spurgeon) and the following is from him:
Are you distressed because of sin, and burdened with the heavy load of your iniquities? Listen to these words-"I, even I, am he that blotteth out thy transgressions, and will no more remember thy sins."

If you have lost the sweet sense of the Saviour's presence, and are seeking him with a sorrowful heart, remember the promises: "Return unto me, and I will return unto you;" "For a small moment have I forsaken thee, but with great mercies will I gather thee."

Now I know its old words...but I got a message from it. Jesus will always love me. I just need to turn to him.

my daily prayer

I have started a daily prayer. It reflects my personal situation...and it allows me to pray to God for a few seconds or minutes on end!!

I am praying for the Lord's protection. I feel I really need it at the moment. It always has the same structure:

• Lord please protect my family (Me, Tali and baby. Pray that we are a family protected from our own sins, that we are a family unit that loves, trusts and serves)
• Lord please protect my marriage (tali and me. that the attacks, the weaknesses we face do not destroy it)
• Lord please protect Tali (especially as she has baby inside her. protect her physically, emotionally and spiritually. especially protect her from anything I may do!)
• Lord please protect baby (from the stresses that Tali faces, from our own ignorance in looking after a baby, from choices we may make)
• Lord please protect me (I especially need it. Protection from temptation and my own weaknesses. From bad choices I make.)

Sometimes I just ask for protection from each....other times I get on my knees and get into details. Sometimes I remember to praise the Lord for the protection he gives me without me even knowing it!

aren't we not meant to not do it alone?

What has happened to our little group I wonder? We don't meet anymore. We don't talk much. I miss it...and I long for it.

And I see us doing it alone. Doing relationships alone. Doing day-to-day life issues alone. Doing our weaknesses alone.

Zella. Claire. Lipo. Tali and Myles. I see us struggle. Wandering in the wilderness. We will always have wilderness to wander...and that's exciting sometimes. But who will be my Moses. Or my Aaron?

I suppose it's lucky we all have the Lord.

how much forgiveness?

Looking at the news for the anniversary of the Port Arthur Massacre I wonder how much forgiveness do we need? I spoke to a christian at work about it recently and he said "there's a nice space in hell for that man."

Is everyone saveable? Where is the threshold where we decide someones sin is too much? Does God have a threshold?

Evil may be absolute (based on Jesus' standards) but is salvation and forgiveness also finite? Is God's grace big enough to cover any and all sin? What is that scripture which says that?

I read recently a saying "don't criticise a mans harvest if you have not seen the seed". I dont know Martin's sin. I dont know my wife's sin. I dont fully understand their seeds. But I know that God does, his grace can cover them all, and everyone is saveable! I am living proof of that.

So, could I forgive a man like Martin Bryant if he did something to my family? I dont know. I have not faced that spiritual challenge yet. I hope I could. I hope I could forgive and try to save him for Christ.