my brother died 38 years old, heart attack in his sleep, 16 may 2009.
This is my last entry. I have learnt so much about myself from this. But mostly I miss him. He was a big part of my life. We both moved to sydney way back when and we have lived together most of this time. I think I have only ever spent 5 years apart. As my husband said, he was his flatmate.
He had the biggest heart and time for those no one else did. He just found the love of his life about 6 mths ago. He was starting the next stage of his life. Getting more healthier.
I am heart broken. And my world is very grey. Even tho i know he is with the LORD. He died too young. What I would give for another minute with him.
I would tell him how much i loved him, even tho he knew.
I would tell him how proud i was to be his sister.
I would tell him I wish the LORD had shouted at me that he was short on time so he could have had a less stressful last month. So we could have found a way out.
I would tell him how much I'm going to miss him, my children will miss him, how having him in our home made me feel more safe.
I would tell him that my life will always feel incomplete without him.
That i was looking forward to him getting married and having a family.
That i was glad he had found his soulmate no matter how brief the time.
That I was sorry for anything I have ever done to hurt him.
And then i could have wished him a safe journey home to his Maker.
Where he would struggle no more, feel no pain, see our Dad and my child, Ange's children, and fulfil his eternal purpose. Rest in peace is not something i would wish for him, not the resting part anyway, peace most definitely. He wanted to be one of the LORD's soldiers so I hope he's busy organising some offensive against the enemy. Or gathering people together to tell one of his stories.
Enjoy being a part of the bigger picture, have the best time doing whatever the LORD has assigned you, and look after our house until we meet again
