being a mum

I know it's only been a month since riley was born and being a mother of 2 will take some time for me to get use to...but it's hitting me just how much my life is going to be full on. I know I have to be fitter and healthier to be able to cope but just working out routines is going to take time.

I have learnt one lesson - never carry a newborn into your toddler's bedroom when he's just woken up. Because mine doesn't wake up a happy chappy but crying and wanting to be carried...and my arms were full with riley...I was like 'wait a minute son, i've just got to put riley down'...run back to lounge put riley down, run back to room and pick up a hysterical caleb :)

Today both my babies fell asleep - riley on the couch and caleb on my lap...I wanted to have a nap too...so instead of carrying caleb to the room, I put him on his toddler couch on the floor, I grabbed floor cushions and made myself a bed next to him and we all camped in the lounge. Except riley woke up 10mins later :)

Right now I don't have time to myself. It has hit me in the last week because I'm always being Mum. 24/7...unlike a job you can leave at the office, I never stop being Mum. Mum's are an amazing lot. I have no qualifications for it, and every day I learn how to be a Mum, learn something new, learn the job...and unlike other jobs most of my learning is going to be by trial and error. There is no job description, list of duties, and someone to teach you how to do the job...yes, I have books and advice but each child is different and two children in one family are not the same as two children in another family.

I know in a few months it will change again and I will have a better idea of how my two little ones fit with each other and me. I can't wait till my 6 week check up and hopefully I will be able to do more exercise and then do more with caleb. Already I am doing too much but I feel like I'm recovering well.

It's been great being able to run around and do stuff without pain and tiredness. I have been thanking the LORD for small mercies...3 hours sleep without interruption...the sound of rain as I jump into bed with my little family around me...my son sleeping without waking up.

Had a family bbq just to celebrate how blessed we are to have riley and caleb. I felt like celebrating with my close loved ones. I forgot how much work a bbq was but i enjoyed every moment of it, because I was just looking forward to hanging out with them all, the noise and laughter, the smiling faces of my family. It was great. But the next day could barely move my legs :)

Being a Mum has to be the most challenging and the most rewarding job ever. There is a lot of self-sacrificing...or is that just the kind of mother I choose to be?? I want to put them 1st because they need protecting and loving...I am learning to love without expectation...so when do parents change and start expecting more in return? I hope that never happens to me.

my little girl

here's a pic of my not so 'little' girl. She was bigger than her brother in length and weight but for some reason she just seems so much more fragile than he was.

Not sure if I have said this but I've always been scared to have a little girl. For a couple of reasons...

her safety...this world is not made for little girls...but i thank the LORD that she will be holding his hand in this world...i can't go everywhere with her but he can. I know personally how messed up this world can be and I wish I could protect her from it, but the LORD knows best and he will be with her every step of the way home.

i'm not a typical girl...I've always loved the outdoors, running around, playing sport, playing with a ball, or wargames with my cousins. Didn't play with dolls or dress up or other girlie things. Preferred hanging out with boys than girls because they were always so catty.

So I worried that if I had a girlie girl I wouldn't be able to meet her needs. But I have worked out some strategies...if she needs help with make-up or her hair, I have a couple of close relatives I can turn to :)...if she wants to play with her dolls than I have 2 cousins who just had girls around same time as me...I can invite them around :)

Having said all that I can be very girlie...love flowers, love bright colours, Pacific colours, so lots of beautiful bright flowery summer dresses for my little one. I think with all the many women in my family Riley will be fine. Lots of variety to choose from and help her to decide who she wants to be and what she will love and include in her life. Most importantly she will have the LORD, her Creator, to show her who she was destined to be.

baby girl

quick word - had a healthy baby girl - Riley Diana. Caesarian after going into labour...couldn't get pass that magic mark of 8cm. Just as well I didn't have a natural birth - Riley was bigger than Caleb - 4.52 kilos or 9.9lbs and 56cm long or 22inches.

I thank the LORD for blessing us with another healthy child. I feel like I have been waiting for her for ages, so am soooo happy we are both home and well.

will write more when I have energy.