being a mum is not all work

I love hugs and kisses and now i have this little captive audience who can't escape my arms. So I get to spoil myself and indulge all day. Every time I hold my son I smack lots of kisses and cuddles on him. His nightmares are probably of me kissing him and his screams are him crying out 'leave me alone mum' meanwhile i'm worrying about what horrible monster has just disturbed his sleep :-)

I will be one of those mums who embarrass their cool sons in public with bear hugs and face covering kisses. By then it will be too late for me to change my ways!

others...

blessed to be a blessing

why has the LORD given me so much? so i can give to others who have very little.
why does the LORD keep me safe? so i can help others who fear for their lives.
why does the LORD love me so much? so i can show others who feel unloved how much he loves them.

The LORD always reminds me that this safe comfortable life i live comes at a price. What he has put in my hands was not just for me to be grasped and clung to, but to share and give with open hands to others. I can't help everyone but i can help those who the LORD gives me a heart for...the children of Africa, the impoverished rejected of this little world of mine.

caleb

caleb, 3 mths old. the beautiful creation the LORD made combining me and myles' genes which span generations of our ancestors. How amazing is our LORD and this is only what we see. I wonder what he will be like. Names are no accident in the bible so i wonder if the LORD has made him to have key traits of Caleb from the bible. Strong, devoted, faithful, courageous....already i know he's strong willed the way he battles with us about the little things in his control, like when he can sleep and eat. I don't think he will be anyone's push over...that sounds like Caleb from the old testament.

faith

had a connect group last night. Someone asked why is our faith not as powerful as those first believers, why don't we experience what the apostles did when they first received the holy spirit with speaking in tongues, etc. The holy spirit moved in miraculous ways.

It has made me think of what it must have been like at that first meeting of believers as recorded in Acts. We don't share the same conversion story because we didn't experience what they did.

They gathered at a momentus point in time, beginning of a movement of faith which would shape the world, awaiting the promise of the Holy Spirit from a Saviour they knew in person, they saw ascend, witnesses to his resurrection, heard his words with their own ears, saw him heal the sick, raise the dead. They experienced first hand that all things are possible with the LORD by seeing him in action.

To me the Holy Spirit was so visibly powerful because the disciples needed this level of faith. They had the important task of setting the world on fire. They had to survive persecution, pass on this real faith from generation to generation to survive the dark ages so that in 2007 we would still believe. His deeds were a part of their personal experience, embedded in their memories so they would never give up. He met their needs.

With that level of faith came real sacrifice and real persecution. Perhaps the LORD knows that most of us are not up to the challenge. We want the miracles of old but can we walk in their footsteps? Most of the disciples suffered horrible deaths - can we carry this cross?

I don't think so. It seems only a few of us are able. The majority of us have different crosses to bear and different needs to be met.

The needs of my part of the world are on the most part not physical but emotional and mental. That's the major healing needed here to overcome evil. That's the power we need to show.

Its a worldly way of thinking that because every christian doesn't have the greater gifts of the Holy Spirit like healing the sick, prophesy, etc. that this means we lack power. I believe, we are thinking like the world when we give in to that mentality that we have to prove our faith by BIG HUGE WALK ON WATER MIRACLES. That's not how the LORD works. He performed those miracles because there was a need for them.

The Holy Spirit's greatest power to me is visible in a changed life. Believing that your life has changed is faith especially when others can't see it but you know it to be the truth. Each of us born again is a living 'walk on water' miracle.

To each of us he gives a measure of faith, a personal relationship with him through the Holy Spirit, his word and each other.

Don't get me wrong I would have loved for the LORD to heal my Dad of his cancer, to have had an easy labour and my son born on my Dad's birthday, but these things didn't happen. I believed for it and stepped out in faith and in the case of my Dad, he did get better before he got worse so I was sure he was going to be healed. But the LORD didn't give me that miracle.

Do I believe in the LORD less? Do I doubt he really exists? Do I doubt that all things are possible with the LORD? No, because my faith is built on an unshakeable truth - the LORD knows everything and I don't. I may not know his reasons but it doesn't change who he is - he is the Creator, the master planner and he knows what's best for me and all his creations. This I'm sure of.

What is faith: it's being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see (Heb 11:1)